The Scoobies
by ReneesFic
Summary: Complete! BuffySpike. Set in an AU where everyone is human, but I tried to make this a parallel to the show. Buffy belongs to a band, The Scoobies. Spike is a harsh critic who loves to see bands falls apart because of his reviews. And the Inititive?
1. Chapter 1

* * *

PLOT SUMMARY: Buffy and friends are in a band. They get to deal with a harsh critic, Spike, who personally loves it when band members quit because of his reviews. I tried to go for a parallel to the show. It's set in an Alternative Universe where everyone is human. So if that's not your thing, it won't hurt my feelings if you don't read it. Oh, and I'm not going to mention anything else until after the last chapter. If you are afraid that certain events from the show will happen here, too, just read the reviews. I'm sure someone will post something like, "I can't believe a giant worm swallowed Dawn!" Then, you will know - unless they are lying. 

RATING: M with mild descriptions of sex (eventually). Well, mild in my opinion.

DISCLAIMER: Even fanfic that barely resembles the original show is fanfic. I don't own these characters, they belong to Joss Whedon and company.

* * *

The bass thumped, driving into Buffy's veins. With the bright lights in her eyes, she could only make out the dark shapes of people enjoying themselves. Her fingers began to work their magic over her guitar, and the crowd cheered its approval. She turned, giving the rest of the band a cocky smile, before spinning around to sing into the microphone.

"It doesn't take much to get me going."

The energy in the place rose, her whole being tingling with exhilaration. She didn't mind the heat from the lights and crowd. Not everyone was as lucky to make a living doing something they enjoyed. Her band, The Scoobies, hadn't hit it big yet, but every weekend they played to big enough crowds that she didn't need a second job. This is what she lived for.

"When I'm with you, yeah, yeah."

Right now, she fed off the crowd, playing the types of songs she knew they wanted to hear. She played slower songs to give the crowd a breather, then she played upbeat numbers when they recovered. When they seemed to really enjoy a certain song, she would make a note to play similar songs, too. This time wasn't any different.

They ended their set with a roar from the crowd. The stage lights had changed so she could see the crowd jumping and clapping. She grabbed her bottle of water and quenched her parched throat.

"Is it always like this?" Tara pushed her bass to the side as they left the stage.

Buffy nodded, pushing her long, blonde hair from her sweaty forehead. "Isn't it great?"

The euphoria usually lasted the rest of the night. The only thing she liked as much as playing was listening to their fans afterwards. As if on cue, a small crowd descended on them, praising their performance.

"You guys are the best!"

"When are you going to record an album?"

"I wasn't sure how you guys would do without Oz, but your new bassist is great!" Jonathan, one of their biggest fans, smiled. The rest of the crowd nodded in agreement. Tara looked to the ground, cheeks pink.

"We're lucky to have found her." Willow gently touched Tara's arm.

Buffy was glad to see that the keyboardist didn't seem upset at the mention of Oz. When he left the band a month ago, Willow was crushed. The two had been an item since high school. Tara, shy but an incredible player, became attached to Willow ever since she joined the band. The friendship was just what Willow needed to get her mind off of her ex-boyfriend.

"Xander, what do I get since I caught your drumstick?" Faith held the drumstick suggestively, running her fingers up and down the smooth wood.

The drummer of the group gulped, and Buffy just shook her head. Faith was famous for such innuendo. After a few seconds of gaping, Xander appeared to have come up with a response. Faith, however, turned to Buffy, ignoring him.

"Hey B, you guys going to see us tomorrow?"

"Sure." Buffy smirked while fanning herself with her shirt. "We need to keep an eye on the competition."

"Yeah, you might learn something." Faith laughed.

Buffy, in response, made a face at her in good nature. Two good looking men joined the small group. Faith took a beer offered by the one with dark blonde hair.

"Well, I'll see ya." Still laughing, Faith put her arms around the two men and walked away.

"I wonder how she'll do." Willow asked while watching Faith lead them back to an empty table. "She seems to be in a new band every month."

"Well, that's Faith. She can't stay in a relationship for very long." Buffy began to put her guitar away. "Tomorrow night should be pretty interesting."

"Isn't she playing at Kilos?" Xander sipped his water. "That's where we're playing next weekend."

Buffy nodded. Kilos was difficult to get a gig, and they finally landed one. "We'll get a feel for the place and crowd."

"Is Dawn coming?" Willow asked.

Buffy shook her head at the mention of her sister. "I told my mom I didn't want her hanging around us on a night off. Besides, she already hangs out at bars too much for a fifteen year old."

Willow smiled. "It's not like she's drinking. She just likes us."

"Well, she gets on my nerves." Buffy still lived at home, but she was counting the days to when she had put away enough money to get a place of her own. "Tomorrow, should be fun," she said, changing the subject.

"I'm just looking forward to relaxing and taking a Saturday night off." Willow pulled her red hair back into a ponytail.

The idea of just enjoying the night sounded like heaven, but Buffy knew that she needed to take in the atmosphere. Even on her nights off, she was working. She smiled at Willow, though.

"Yeah. It'll be fun."

* * *

The pulsing of the bass surrounded Spike as he scribbled in his note pad. He watched, expressionless, as the brunette woman rubbed her body against the guitarist. She looked familiar, he thought. Then, he remembered that he saw her with a different band six months ago. She might do better if she picked her band members for their ability, rather than their looks, he noted. He could remember a time when Kilos had standards for their bands, he sighed.

He put his pen down and stretched his hand, observing the crowd. Unless this band did something dramatically different for the rest of the evening, he'd seen enough. A small group caught his eye. Actually, it was the blonde woman sitting among them who held his attention. The rest of the group were relaxed and seemed to be having a good time. She was smiling and drinking, however, he noticed that she was eyeing the place.

The band began to play another song, and the redheaded woman and dark haired man in the group jumped up and began to point to the dance floor. The blonde was dragged out by them. He quickly determined that she was too uptight. She wouldn't relax enough to dance. But, he was wrong. She did begin to dance, and she became one with the music, wild and carefree.

He felt the beginnings of desire as he watched her lithe body move. Dancing with her arms above her head, she displayed her slight curves. Did she do that purposely, knowing the effect it would have on others? He had to know who she was.

After the song was over, he left his table and crossed over to her. A couple of teenagers had appeared at her table. He stayed back to listen to what they wanted.

"Hey, it's the Scoobies! Are you guys playing tonight?" One of them asked excitedly.

The blonde shook her head. "It's our night off."

"But, we're playing here next Saturday." The dark haired man gave them a genuine smile. They seemed happy with that and left.

The Scoobies? That changed everything. He had a personal rule not to date band members, but it didn't mean he couldn't talk to her. Sometimes they were so fragile when confronted with him. If he couldn't date her, he was going to at least have some fun.

"I'm going to get another." The redhead stood up with her glass, interrupting Spike's thoughts. "Want something?"

"Another beer would be good." The blonde smiled as the other woman turned towards the bar.

The man at the table got up, too. "I'll go with you. I need another myself."

When the blonde was alone, Spike stepped to the table.

"Hello, cutie. Can I buy you a drink?" He smiled as the blonde gasped in surprise. "I'm Spike, by the way." "I'm Buffy." Her voice shook. She was staring at him as if star struck.

Chuckling inwardly, he sat down next to her. "Buffy, huh. How about that drink?"

"I have one coming." She smiled softly.

"That's too bad." He couldn't tell what color her eyes were in the darkened bar, and it surprised him that he wanted to know. Shaking off that thought, he focused on playing with her.

He glanced at his watch. "I have to go now, but I'll see you next Saturday."

She straightened up at that. "Are you a fan?"

He couldn't help but smile. He knew the type, so trusting and naive. She probably couldn't handle a little criticism and would crack.

"You might say something like that." He leaned in close and lowered his voice. "And you'll think about me all next weekend."

Buffy wet her upper lip with the tip of her tongue. Her voice changed to a more seductive tone. "What happens next weekend?"

He almost lost control when he caught a glimpse of her small, pink tongue. Why did she have to be in the Scoobies? Forcing himself to continue the game, he gave her a soft smile.

"You're going to quit the band."

His smiled widened as hers changed to a slight frown. Wanting to keep her perplexed, he got up and left the club.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. They belong to Joss W. and company.

* * *

"Huh?" Buffy's mind was fuzzy the moment he opened his mouth and mesmerized her with his English accent. His blue eyes had bored into her, causing her stomach to flip flop. Then, abruptly, he had left. 

Willow returned to the table and handed Buffy her drink. "Who was that?"

"I don't know. He said his name was Spike." Buffy's mind suddenly cleared. "He also said that he was going to see me next weekend and that I'd quit the Scoobies." She shook her head, "That doesn't make any.."

"You said Spike? As in Spike from the Lethal Bite?" Willow interrupted.

"Lethal bite?" Was this Spike person someone she should know?

Willow sighed. "It's a review column. It's in quite a few papers in Southern California, including our Sunnydale Standard. Maybe you should read the newspaper some time."

Xander shrugged at Buffy. "Never heard of him either."

"He's a critic?" Buffy felt disappointed. Then, she began to feel ticked off. She had acted like a school girl with a crush, and he only wanted to make a fool out of her. He was probably laughing right now, she thought, angrily.

Willow suddenly stood up. "Oh! He's going to review us next weekend." She started to pace.

"Willow, stop." Buffy grabbed her arm. "So what? We've had reviews before."

"He's known for getting bands to break up." Willow shook her head.

"Did you say Spike was going to review you next weekend?" Giles, Buffy's somewhat mentor, sat at the table. At first glance, the older man seemed out of place in the crowd of teens and young adults , but he was perfectly at ease.

Willow nodded. "Buffy met him. He said she was going to quit."

Buffy took a sip of her drink and didn't say anything.

"Buffy, Spike's reviews are not to be taken seriously. He purposely puts down everyone in order to make his own fans happy. He's a mockery of a serious critic." Giles removed his glasses and cleaned them. "However, as Willow said, many people have quit performing because of his column. Two even had huge record contracts. I hear he likes to brag about those two. His words can be..stinging. "

"I won't let him bother me now that I now know the type of man he is. "

"Good, because you have a good chance of getting a record label and.." Giles looked with a start to the stage. "Good lord, what is she doing up there?"

Buffy and Willow turned to see Faith dry humping the microphone stand.

"Performing." Buffy turned to Giles with a smile, trying to push her worry of Spike away.

* * *

Buffy walked in the Magic Box with a stack of old newspapers and Dawn following with another stack. She was glad her mom waited a few months before taking them in to be recycled.

"You won't believe the stuff this guy writes." Buffy dropped the newspapers with a loud thump on a table.

Anya, who co-owned the shop with Giles, ran over to the table. "Don't put those there! That table's for customers only."

"I am a customer. The Scoobies rent the back room for practice."

"That's not the same thing and you know it." Anya looked around the room, noticing that Xander had walked into the store and was heading their way. Her scowl turned into a smile as she turned back to Buffy. "So, do you need any help?"

Buffy ignored her as she sorted through the newspapers, pulling out Spike's column. The more columns she read, the more she was convinced that he was the biggest jerk she'd ever met.

"Hey, Buffy. What did you need us for?" Willow sat at the table with Tara.

Buffy turned to them in all seriousness. "We need to review these columns to get ready for next weekend."

Willow turned to Tara and raised her eyebrow. Dawn sat, bored, and watched Buffy.

"What?" Xander ran his hand through his dark hair and walked over to the table. "We have to read on our day off?"

"Don't look at me, I already did my homework." Willow flipped through a stack of papers.

"Willow, I don't care if this is the first thing you read every Sunday morning, you need to help me."

Xander gazed at a column for a minute, before putting it down. "What's the big deal? Giles said not to take it seriously."

"Willow, tell him."

Willow furrowed her brow. "Actually, I was thinking about it, and Giles is right. It's not like it's a real review. As long as you don't take it seriously, it's no big deal."

Xander raised an eyebrow at Buffy. "I thought you weren't going to let it bother you."

Buffy sighed. It seemed that nobody wanted to help her. "That was before I read his column. He doesn't care who he hurts. Listen to what he wrote in today's column about Faith. 'For a minute there, I thought I was at a strip joint. She would be better suited in an establishment such as Willie's Fishtank. At least there, she could put her real talents to use.'"

"Yeah, that was a good one." Willow turned to Tara with a smile. Tara shyly smiled back.

"Laugh, but I bet this column hurts Faith's feelings."

"I bet it doesn't." Willow said under her breath.

As if on cue, Faith entered the store. "Hey." She looked tired, probably from staying up all night. "I just need to buy some more incense. I ran out last night."

"Did you read the review of your band in today's paper?" Buffy handed her the paper.

"There was a review? Cool." Faith sat down and read the column. When she finished, she smiled. "All right!"

"Faith. It was a bad review. He practically called you a stripper."

"I know. Do you know how many people are going to come to my shows, now?" Faith was all smiles.

Buffy sighed. "Don't you want to be recognized for your singing?"

Faith shrugged. "I don't care why people come see me, as long as they come."

Buffy shook her head and sat down at the table. Just because Faith didn't take this seriously, didn't mean that she wasn't. She handed Dawn a paper and started to read another one.

"What's with the stick up your butt?" Faith picked up a paper from top of one of the stacks and examined it. Buffy refused to answer.

Dawn looked up from her paper. "She's been like this ever since she met him last night."

Faith smiled and sat down next to Buffy. "You met him? I see."

Buffy put her paper down. "What are you implying?"

"Is he as hot as people say? He must have made quite an impression."

"Faith, don't you have something you need to buy?" Buffy snatched the paper from Faith.

Faith smiled and stood up. With a swivel in her hips she picked up a bundle of incense sticks and walked to the cash register. Buffy glared at her the whole time. Faith didn't know what she was talking about. This had nothing to do with how attracted she was to Spike when she first met him...Buffy shook her head to get her thoughts straight. This was about how he was a jerk - a jerk that wanted to make a fool of her.

"Don't just sit there - read." Buffy flung open her paper and ignored the smiles of everyone else at the table.

* * *

The week flew by, and Buffy still couldn't get Spike out of her mind. She wanted to double the practice sessions for the band, but the rest of them vetoed it. Giles said that if they over-practiced, they would get burned out. Buffy reluctantly agreed, but practiced in her room more than she usually did. 

On Thursday night, she had stayed up late practicing. The combination of being tired and not being able to hear the guitar very well without the amp was driving her crazy. With a frustrated groan, she plugged her guitar to her amp and turned it to the lowest setting. After a few test notes, she sighed. This was better than nothing.

A moment later, her mother knocked on the door. "Buffy? The rest of us have to get up early tomorrow. Could you please turn that off?"

Damn! Buffy angrily pulled the cord out of the guitar and switched the amp off. "Okay, it's off."

Her mother opened the door and stuck her head in the room. "Why don't you get some sleep? You've been staying up late every night this week."

"But, I need the practice."

"You look tired."

Buffy noticed how heavy her eyes felt. Maybe she could stand to get some sleep and practice tomorrow night and Saturday morning. She nodded at her mother and loosened the strings on her guitar and laid it down. She fell asleep the moment her head hit her pillow.

She opened her eyes to the sound of typing. Spike was sitting in her room typing on an old fashioned typewriter. A swirl of smoke danced from the cigarette dangling in his mouth. Every few seconds, he would stop and tap his forehead as if pondering.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy sat up in the bed.

Spike looked directly at her and smiled. "Your review. I guess the rest of the band couldn't make it."

"But, it's not Saturday. You were going to review us..."

"I guess you could say I'm impatient," Spike interrupted.

Buffy looked around the room and noticed her guitar on the other side. "At least let me get my guitar." She attempted to leave the bed, but found that she couldn't move. Her arms were bound to her bed by soft silk.

"Hey now, that'd be cheating." Spike shook his head in disapproval. "So far, I'm not impressed with your performance."

Buffy tugged at the silk. "Let me go! I can play for you if I can just get my guitar."

Spike cocked his head to the side. "Now, it's getting interesting." He put down the cigarette and walked towards her. "Lying there, struggling, almost begging. Do you know how beautiful you are?"

Buffy's heart beat wildly in her chest, and her breath caught. She opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't speak.

Spike placed his finger on her lips. "Shh. I have your review ready. It explains how I feel." He held a newspaper in his other hand. As he opened the paper, a pulsing noise came from it. Buffy couldn't see the column, and the noise wouldn't stop.

With a groan, she awoke. She slapped her alarm clock, turning it off. Thinking about her dream, she understood that she was nervous about the review. She had similar dreams about major tests in school. What she didn't understand was why she was disappointed she hadn't read his review. She wanted to know how he felt.


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters.

* * *

"I've never seen you this nervous." 

Buffy looked up and accepted the water from Xander. It was true, she was nervous. Usually by this time, she was almost giddy in anticipation. Instead, her nerves were so racked, she was almost sick to her stomach. She tried to collect herself, but her thoughts were moving a hundred miles an hour. It didn't help that she keep checking the crowd for a familiar platinum blond.

Xander continued. "For once, Willow is calmer than you."

Willow looked up at that and smiled. "I'm getting over this stage fright thing." Tara gave her a small smile.

"Hey, it's time." An employee of Kilos stood before them and pointed to the stage.

Willow, Xander, and Tara ran to the stage and began to warm up. After a minute, they began to play. Buffy always came onstage a little while later. She glanced at the crowd, attempting to feel their mood. From her angle, she could make out their faces. A blond movement caught her eye. Spike was sitting near the back, a pad of paper in his hands. There he is, she thought. Taking a deep breath, she bounded onstage and joined the band.

Her heartbeat increased, partly because of the cheer of the crowd and partly because she knew Spike was out there. As she stepped up to the microphone, her budding excitement swallowed her fears of the review. Her voice didn't waver as she sang, and she didn't miss any notes on her guitar.

"Yeah!" Buffy cheered into the microphone.

Xander yelled in approval. Willow slowly shook her head at him, causing the crowd to laugh. Buffy spun to face her friends.

"That's Xander on drums." He rattled a bit on the set with Buffy's introduction. "Willow's on the keyboard and Tara's playing bass," Buffy continued. Raising her guitar over her head, Buffy turned to face the audience. "I'm Buffy."

For the rest of the evening, Buffy was on a roll. The whole band was on top of their songs, and the crowd was great. She'd almost forgotten about the review.

As she played the final cords, she remembered her dream. The nervousness that she felt all week came rushing back. She couldn't wait until the next day to read the review - she needed to know about it now. She scanned the audience and found Spike staring right at her.

Her mind was consumed with him. When her fans rushed to her as she walked off stage, she had to force herself to talk to them. She needed to get to Spike before he left. When she finally had a break, she quickly walked to his table. It was empty. After a quick search of the club, she came to the realization that he was nowhere in the building.

Buffy bounded down the stairs the next morning intent on getting the paper. Dawn was reading it at the kitchen table.

"Hey, I was reading that!" Dawn protested when Buffy grabbed it and tossed pages to the floor.

"I just want to read something." Buffy found the column and began to skim it. The more she read, the angrier she became. Dawn rested her chin on Buffy's shoulder and read it, too.

"Sounds like he liked the band." Dawn stood and walked to the refrigerator.

Buffy gave her an incredulous look. "What are you talking about?" She glanced at the paper to find one offending sentence. "'There's nothing special about how Buffy sings or plays her guitar. If it wasn't for the comradery she has with the rest of the band, and the fact that they seem to be in tune with the needs of the crowd, I would recommend that she find another career.'"

"But, he gave you a B minus." Dawn shrugged. "And the whole review was missing his usual bite."

"Good morning, you two." Their mother walked into the kitchen and took a glass from the cabinet.

"Mom, read this review." Buffy thrust the paper at her, pouting.

Joyce glanced at the column and smiled. "Oh honey, your band is in the paper." She filled her glass with orange juice while she read. Taking a sip, she handed the paper to Buffy. "Sounds like he liked the band."

Dawn smirked at Buffy. "I told you."

"No. Did you read the whole thing?" Buffy tried to hand the paper back, but her mom pushed her hand away.

"I read it. Now, you're just giving me a headache."

Buffy pursed her lips, perturbed. "Maybe you have to be in a band to understand," she sniffed.

The Scoobies and Giles would see it from her point of view.

* * *

"I think he liked us." Willow handed the paper back to Buffy. 

Buffy turned to glare at Dawn, who snorted. Was everyone blind? Even Giles thought the review was good.

"Hey, I've never gotten a grade this high." Xander pointed to the B minus on the review.

Giles sighed and cleaned his glasses. "Buffy, he said that you had talent. All you have to do is work on your singing and playing."

Buffy gaped at Giles. Work on her singing and playing? "Listen, he obviously wrote this just to bug me."

"Which seems to have worked," Giles mumbled.

"But, we need to put this review behind us," Buffy said, ignoring Gile's comment. She crumpled the review and tossed in the wastebasket on the other side of the room.

"Okay."

"Sure."

"Whatever." Dawn rolled her eyes.

"Well, now that we've concluded the Spike drama, I think we need to talk about a new band that's in town." Giles stood and paced the room.

"You mean the Initiative?" Tara quietly asked.

"Yes. They've been getting a lot of gigs, and they already have a big following." Giles stopped and turned to Buffy. "They're playing at Kilos next Saturday."

"Already? They must be good." Buffy bit her lip.

Giles paused. "Maybe. I haven't heard anything about them, except that they are associated with Walsh Incorporated. I think their lead singer is the son of somebody important in that company."

"Do you want us to check them out?" Xander asked.

Giles nodded. "Since your gig that night has been canceled, you'll be able to see what the talk is all about."

"Why did the Bronze cancel us anyway?" Tara softly asked.

"They said they accidently overbooked Saturday night." Giles paused. "That's never happened to us before, but I'm sure it was a one time mistake. But, we can take this as an opportunity to check out the competition."

Buffy nodded and looked forward to seeing this new band. She also hoped to run into a certain critic.

* * *

Buffy shook her head as Dawn bounced in her seat. It wasn't everyday that Dawn came with them when they weren't playing, but her mom wasn't feeling well and wanted to spend the evening in a quiet house. Buffy reluctantly let Dawn come to Kilos. 

The stage lights changed, signaling that the show was about to start. The place was packed, and the crowd started to cheer as the band ran onstage.

"Hey, isn't that Toddie from the Sparks?" Willow pointed to the bass player.

Buffy thought the brunette man looked familiar. "I think it is. Did he join this band before or after they broke up?"

As the guitarist, drummer, and bassist played, Buffy thought they sounded pretty good. Suddenly, the excited shrills from a few females pierced the air, and a hulking man calmly walked out on stage. The lead singer, Buffy thought. Nodding her head in time to the music, she settled to hear him sing.

He was awful.

Buffy glanced at the rest of the table and saw that it wasn't just her. Everyone had either a confused or cringed look on their face.

"Maybe, he's just nervous," Willow said just loud enough for Buffy to hear.

Buffy wasn't sure about that. The lead singer had a cocky presence that made Buffy think that he was used to people praising him.

"That was a little number I wrote called 'Pretty Daisy'," The lead singer said, oblivious to the lack of applause after his song was finished. "My name is Adam, and this is my band, the Initiative!" The music started up again in an upbeat tempo. Again, Adam's singing was bad.

Buffy looked out into the crowd. There were a few people who seemed to enjoy the music, but many looked bored. One person caught her eye. Spike was starring at the band with a look of disbelief. The current band forgotten, Buffy's anger at Spike returned.

She pulled out the crumbled review from her pocket. "Excuse me, I'm going to get something to drink."

She made her way over to his table and crossed her arms over her chest. Spike looked up at her in surprise. Thrusting the review in front of him, she waited to see what he had to say.

Spike glanced at the column. "I'm a little busy right now, Love. But, if you want to thank me for the review, I can think of some ways to do it later." He curled his tongue and arched his eyebrow.

She snatched the review back, stuffing it in her pocket. "I'm not here to thank you, you idiot. I'm pissed off!"

"Now, what would cause such a pretty thing like you to be so upset?"

"You know why I'm mad." She gritted her teeth.

"I do?"

"You wrote this on purpose."

"Of course, I did. That's how I get paid."

"No, I mean you wrote these words just to..to...You know what I mean!"

The corner of Spike's mouth raised in a lazy smile. "What did you expect from me? I'm a critic, not a fan. It's in my nature to be harsh. If you want to make it big, take the column as free advice."

His nonchalant attitude infuriated her. With a huff, Buffy returned to her table.

"I thought you were getting a drink," Dawn commented.

"I changed my mind." Buffy tried to watch the rest of the show. Free advice indeed.


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. You know who they belong to.

* * *

Spike settled into his favorite chair and searched for something decent to watch on television. Monday was always his day off. Tomorrow, he would need to start planning his next review. With a chuckle, he remembered his recent column. He hadn't seen a band that horrible since the old days when he would review any band. The Initiative got a royal thrashing. Shaking his head, he thought that Buffy didn't have anything to complain about.

Buffy. She could be a real spitfire. He hadn't talked to her for more than ten minutes, and she showed him three sides to her. Of the naive schoolgirl, seductress, and fiery bit of a girl, he enjoyed the last one the most.

The phone rang, bringing Spike out of his thoughts. "Hello," he said, picking up the phone.

"Hey, it's me." His manager, Clem spoke from the other end. "I've got some bad news."

Spike sat up. He didn't like the sound of that. "What is it?"

Clem sighed. "Nobody wants to carry your column anymore. They've gotten too many complaints."

"All of them?"

"Yes." Clem paused. "They're all dropping your column, affective immediately."

"What? This is bullshit!" Spike jumped to his feet. A feeling of dread draped over him. "What really happened?"

"You got too many complaints."

Spike rubbed his temple. "No. I've always had complaints - usually by the bands themselves. Something else happened."

Clem paused. "Okay. I heard that Maggie Walsh of Walsh Incorporated wasn't too happy with your column yesterday. It's seems her son, Adam, is the lead singer for the Initiative."

"He was awful. They deserved that review." Spike rubbed his forehead, which was beginning to throb.

"Well, Walsh Incorporated threatened to pull their advertising out of every paper that had your column. Do you know much money these papers would lose without the ads? Nobody wanted to risk that."

Spike flopped on the couch. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"Well, you have a contract, so the papers will still pay you until it runs out."

"That's in two months! What am I going to do after that?"

"You can probably get another job."

Spike groaned. "I don't want another bloody job! This column was more than money. It was my life. I need to critique bands."

"Maybe you could start a column on the Web, or maybe go to an underground paper that isn't touched by Walsh Incorporated."

"I can't make a living on that, and nobody reads those things." His column had millions of readers. He loved knowing that he pissed off or enraptured complete strangers. Now, he couldn't affect anybody.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to tell you. Do you want me to come over? We could eat hot wings."

Spike closed his eyes. "No. I'll be alright." He hung up the phone and threw it across the room. He needed a drink.

* * *

"Did you notice that Spike's column wasn't in the paper yesterday?" Buffy tried to act nonchalant as she took a bite from her hamburger. 

Willow smirked and sat across from her in the diner. "I thought you said his column was trash. You're still reading it?"

"I just wanted to see if he trashed another poor band," Buffy lied. She secretly had been looking forward to Sunday to read his column, and was terribly disappointed to not see it. She had completely agreed with his review of the Initiative last week, but she wasn't going to admit it.

Willow expression sobered. "I heard his column was dropped."

Buffy's heart began to pound. "Why?" She was hoping that Spike was just taking a vacation.

"Too many complaints."

Buffy shoved the disappointment and pity to the pit of her stomach. He deserved this, she tried to tell herself. "Well, good riddance."

Willow slowly shook her head, but didn't say anything. Instead she talked to Buffy about the Scoobies.

"Excuse me, did you say you were in the Scoobies?" A tall man with sandy brown hair from the next table asked.

Buffy smiled. One of the perks to being in a band was that good looking men would talk to her. "Yes, we are. I'm Buffy. This is Willow."

"The lead singer? I've heard you are very good." He held out his hand. "I'm Riley Finn by the way."

She shook his hand. "Heard? So, you haven't caught a show?"

"No. I'm helping out a band, myself, in my spare time. Have you heard of the Initiative?"

Buffy's smile froze. His face was lit up, so she didn't have the heart to tell him what she really thought about the band. "I saw them last weekend. They're interesting."

"I think they're the greatest." Riley paused and smiled cheerfully. "Though, I'm sure you guys think the same way about the Scoobies."

Willow glanced at Buffy before addressing Riley. "What do you do for the band?"

"Oh, I just help out during their shows - setting up the stage, helping move instruments. That sort of thing."

Buffy remembered briefly seeing him moving a microphone onstage last Saturday.

Riley sat down at their table when Buffy indicated an empty chair. "Thanks. I'm Maggie Walsh's assistant at Walsh Incorporated. She asked me to help them out."

Buffy didn't understand the connection. Then she remembered the rumor that Adam was related to someone at Walsh Incorporated. "Is she related to the lead singer?"

"She's his mother."

Buffy's eyebrows rose at that. "Well, maybe you can come to one of our shows and see us play."

"I'd love to, Buffy." Riley glanced at Willow. "And Willow," he amended.

"We'll see you then." Buffy thought he was nice. Probably tone deaf, if he thought the Initiative was good, but he seemed nice. It had been a long time since Buffy was involved with someone. She really needed to start dating again. Maybe then, she could get Spike off of her mind.

* * *

Spike hung up the phone in disgust. Clem had just told him that another paper rejected the column. For the past month, Clem had been calling various newspapers, television studios, and radio stations trying to get them to buy Spike's column. So far, he hadn't been successful. 

In another month, he would stop getting paid. He wasn't looking forward to getting another job. In fact, he hadn't started looking for one. He kept hoping that Clem would be successful in getting his column sold somewhere.

He glanced at his desk and saw the review he wrote for the Scoobies. Buffy had surprised him that night, and he thought she really had potential. Smiling, he remembered how she protested the column, and huffed away when he told her to take it as free advice. Really, if she would just listen to him, the Scoobies would become unstoppable.

Spike paused. Wait a minute. His advice was valuable. Maybe what he needs to do is go directly to the bands. Why give away what he could charge?

Spike smiled. Things were starting to look up.

* * *

Buffy always had an excuse to miss an Initiative gig - either it was the Scoobies or homework. Riley had come to a few of her practice sessions. Soon, she and Riley were going on dates on their free nights. He was a perfect gentleman, interesting, and nice. 

Tonight, the Initiative had a show, so he had to be there. Part of Buffy was relieved to have a night without him. She liked him, but she never found herself looking forward to seeing him. She did, however, look forward to getting away from her mom and sister. She felt trapped living with them and wanted the freedom to do what she wanted without guilt that her friends had. Maybe it was time she looked for a place on her own.

Giles came into the back room holding a piece of paper. Usually, he worked on the books with Anya during their practice. He used to help coach them, but they moved beyond him and his experience. Buffy still considered him her mentor, though.

"There is a Battle of the Bands contest in about four months. I think you guys should enter it." Giles handed Buffy the flyer for the contest. "Two major record labels will be present at this. Even if we don't win, we could impress them."

"Oh, yes!" Buffy jumped in excitement. This was the break they'd been looking for. With a record deal, she might make enough money to move out of her mom's house.

Giles smiled, but didn't take delight in the news as the band did. "This contest won't guarantee a record deal, even the winner only gets a monetary prize."

"How much?" Xander glanced at the flyer in Buffy's hands. "Five thousand dollars? Yes!"

Willow glanced at Giles. "What's wrong?"

Giles sighed. "I've got bad news. The club canceled tomorrow's show. I tried to get a replacement gig, but nobody had any openings this late."

Buffy looked at him in confusion. "This is the third time that happened this month. What's going on?"

Giles pinched his nose and looked at her with sympathetic eyes. "I don't know. Something strange is going on right now. Three bands have broken up because their best players quit. Rumor is that they joined the Initiative."

Willow furrowed her brow. "This doesn't make any sense. The Initiative is a horrible band. Why would they want to be a part of that?"

"Maybe Walsh Incorporated is paying them a lot of money." Xander shook his head.

"That might be, but they are drawing more and more people to their shows." Giles pulled a chair over and sat down. "We need to work harder to improve, so these clubs won't drop us. I can't do more to help you, but I think I've found someone who can help."

Buffy looked at him in surprise. "Who?"

"Do you remember Spike from the newspaper column? Well, he approached me the other day and wanted to.."

"No, no, no," Buffy interrupted. "He can't help us."

"He happens to have a lot of experience working with bands. His father was in the Smooks. He spent his teenage years touring with them. He's used that experience in his columns. Yes, he was harsh, but I think he always told the truth. Now that his column is gone, he's looking for work in the same field."

"We can't afford to pay him a salary." Buffy couldn't work with Spike. She just couldn't.

Giles nodded his head. "I explained to him that we were low on cash, but he agreed to help us for the next month for no money. After that, if we get more and better gigs, he'll take a percentage."

"Why does he want to help us?" Tara hesitated and spoke in a soft voice.

"He told me that we were the only band with potential." Giles looked away from them. "He also wanted revenge on Initiative. Maggie Walsh is the reason he's without a column."

Buffy laughed. "Oh! So, he doesn't really want to help us. He just wants to see another band suffer."

"I agree he's not altruistic, but this is a good opportunity that we shouldn't pass up."

"Let's do it. If we don't improve in a month, we can fire him." Xander stood next to Buffy.

To Buffy's astonishment, Willow and Tara agreed with Xander. She couldn't come up with any more excuses to why Spike should not work for them. She just didn't like him, and she refused to admit that he stirred things in her that scared her. Reluctantly she agreed to allow him to help.

"Okay, let's get back to practice." Buffy raised her guitar strap over her head and stopped. Turning to Giles, she asked, "What do you mean Spike always told the truth?"


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: Let's be frank - I don't own these characters. Joss Whedon owns them.

* * *

It surprised Spike that the Scoobies actually took him up on his offer. They must be desperate, he thought. Then again, so was he. He took a deep breath and walked into the Magic Shop and immediately into Buffy's glare. That didn't surprise him.

"Thank you so much for helping us." Giles, smiling, shook his hand.

There was a pause as the rest of the group held back. Giles raised his eyebrow at them, prompting action.

Finally, the redhead he'd seen so many times with Buffy offered her hand. "I'm Willow."

Spike gave her a charming smile. "On the keyboard, right?"

Willow smiled. "Yes, that's right." She tugged on the arm of another woman, who stared at the floor. "This is Tara."

Spike shook her hand, remembering the bass player. She had stood towards the back during their show. He made a note of that as something to work on.

"Hey, man." A young man with dark hair bounded over and shook Spike's hand. "Name's Xander. I'm sure I'll need the most help." A nervous laugh broke out.

Spike nodded and kept his annoyance to himself. He wondered if there was something between him and Buffy.

"Okay, now that we have the hellos out of the way, we can get started." Buffy abruptly turned and crossed the room.

"I haven't met him yet." A blonde woman closed the cash register and walked towards Spike. "I'm Anya."

"Hello." Spike took in her appearance. "And what do you play?"

"Oh, I'm not in the band. I just count the money."

Xander stepped next to Anya and pulled her away from Spike. "And she needs to get back to counting the money, don't you?"

Anya seemed pleased with that and gave Xander a big smile. "Yeah, I do."

"Hey, the sooner we start, the sooner we can go home," Buffy called from across the room. She opened the door next to her and walked into another room.

"That's the room we practice in." Willow indicated where Buffy had gone. Spike raised an eyebrow and crossed the room.

The Scoobies went to the same spots they were when Spike saw them at Kilos and started to warm up. Tara was towards the back, near Xander.

"Don't play yet." Spike walked up to them. "Tara, you need to come out on the stage more. I know you're a good player, but there is more to being in a band than playing your instrument."

Tara's eyes widened and she nervously looked towards Willow. Since Willow was closer to the front, he had an idea.

"Why don't you stand next to Willow?"

Tara nodded. Spike helped her move her amp and microphone so that she stood slightly in front of Willow.

"Now, when you get used to being in front, we can work on moving around the stage."

Willow smiled and touched Tara's arm. Spike glanced to the back of the room and saw Giles nod in approval.

"Can we play now?" Buffy had her hand on her hip.

Spike raised an eyebrow at her. "I was just getting to that."

Buffy rolled her eyes and nodded to the rest of the band. They started to play one of the songs he heard at Kilos the other weekend. It was a catchy song, but there were spots that could be changed.

"Stop. That part right there. Elizabeth-"

"Who the hell is Elizabeth?" Buffy glared at him.

Spike blinked. "I thought that was your name. Isn't Buffy short-"

"'Buffy is what's on my birth certificate. It's not short for anything."

"You mean that's your real name?" He broke out in a big smile.

"There's nothing wrong with my name, Spike," she said with emphasis on his name.

"My mother didn't give me that name," he laughed.

"So now you're starting in on my.." She shook her head. "Can we get back to practice?"

"Ok, Buffy." He stressed her name before turning serious. "Do you think you could change your guitar solo a little? It sounds too much like what you play while you're singing."

Buffy gave him a confused look and played the solo again. "That part?"

Spike nodded. "Yeah. Can you jazz it up a bit?"

"It's only a couple of chords. I don't think it needs to be updated." Buffy played it again.

Spike shook his head. "It does. This part leads into the last chorus. You want to use this solo to build up to an incredible ending."

"I don't see.."

"Just do it!" Spike almost lost his temper. This woman was going to cause him to blow his only chance at this job.

Buffy's eyes flared. "If you're the expert, show me what you mean." She removed her guitar and thrust it into his hands.

He thrust it back. "I don't play the guitar. You know exactly what I mean, but you're just too stubborn to change what you've been playing for years."

"Buffy, why don't you at least try it." Giles spoke up.

Her face flushed red, and she played the guitar in anger.

"Yes, like that!" He knew she could do it. All she needed was to add a little fire. "Now, take it from the top."

Spike worked them hard. He questioned and improved everything - from the way they stood, to some of the lyrics, to the final notes. He was surprised to find that he enjoyed this almost as much as the column. Sure, most of that was getting under Buffy's skin. To see her fired up made his night.

"Uh, Spike?" Willow walked over to where he was standing. "It's almost one, and I've got an eight o'clock class tomorrow."

Spike looked at his watch in surprise. He hadn't meant to work them that long. Willow looked exhausted, and so did Xander and Tara. Buffy, on the other hand, looked ready to continue for another three hours. Maybe if he hadn't spent the night concentrating on Buffy, he would have noticed how late it had gotten.

"Oh. Yeah, go home everyone. Good practice."

Buffy was mumbling as she put her guitar away. Willow asked her if she needed a ride home, but Buffy just shook her head. Spike wanted to talk to her, but she gave him the cold shoulder. What was amusing a few hours ago, began to annoy him. He followed her outside and noticed that she began to walk down the street.

"You're walking home at one in the morning?" He caught up with her and pulled her around to face her.

Buffy shrugged him off. "I'll be fine. It's a small town."

"Let me give you a ride home." Spike tried to grab her arm again to pull her towards his car.

"No! I'm not a child," she seethed and continued down the street.

"Then, stop acting like one!"

She stopped and glared at him. They eyed each other, daring the other to make the next move.

Spike held up his hands in surrender and backed towards his car and got in. Slowly he followed right behind her, keeping her in sight. Suddenly, she stopped and motioned for him to pass her. He refused, instead waited for her to move. Finally, she walked over to the passenger side and climbed in.

"Well, you might as well give me a ride home."

"You're welcome," he said, sarcastically.

There was sudden fatigue in her face as she put on her seatbelt. As he drove her home, she didn't speak except to give him directions. For that he was forgiving, because he could tell she was more tired than she let on. She really pushed herself.

"You have a house?" He pulled into the driveway of a small bungalow.

Buffy yawned. "It's my mom's." She turned to him without any anger, just tiredness. "Thank you. I really.." She shook her head and left the car. Without a backward glance, she walked up the lawn and entered her house.

He liked seeing the side of her that was too tired to be weary. It surprised him. The spitfire side of her excited him, but the thought of gaining her trust warmed his heart. Glancing at the clock, he groaned. He had a forty five minute drive home. Maybe he should think about moving to Sunnydale.

* * *

Buffy had to admit that they had improved over the week with Spike's help. Of course, she wouldn't admit it out loud - she didn't want his head to get any bigger. They were going to perform in one of the smaller clubs, and with two other bands, but their small crowd of fans always found them.

The air conditioning in the club was broken, and she was already covered in sweat. She fanned herself with her t-shirt, happy that she wore a short skirt. Spike had wanted her to wear leather pants. She might have looked good, but she'd would have been dying.

Someone tapped her on the shoulder, and she was surprised to see Riley standing beside her. "Hey! I thought the Initiative had a show tonight." She gave him a hug, but avoided his kiss. For some reason, she felt strange kissing him in the middle of the club.

"I'm just stopping by for a few minutes. I have to get back to help tear the stage down." Riley was beaming at her.

"I'm glad you came. Can you stay for one song? We're on in a few minutes." She smiled at him.

"I was hoping to see how much you've improved with this Spike helping you."

At the mention of Spike, a tingle crawled up her spine. She turned, and Spike was intently staring at her from across the room. Butterflies danced in her stomach, and she realized that she never felt that with Riley. It's just nerves, she told herself. She became annoyed and glared at Spike. Why was he just looking at her like that?

"Who's that?" Riley gently touched her arm.

"That's Spike."

"Oh." Riley paused. "I thought he'd be older."

"Buffy, we're on." Willow ran past Buffy to the stage.

As the band began to play, Buffy looked up at Riley. She should be crazy about this man. He was kind, thoughtful, and good looking. She did like him, but something nagged at her. Pushing her doubts away, she grabbed his shoulders, pulling him down to kiss him. Before she could think about how the kiss felt, she was running onto the stage.

She was relieved to be on stage again. All cares were left behind as she stood before the roaring crowd. The changes in their performance were second nature, now. Her spirits soared, and she was on cloud nine. This is what she needed after a week of dealing with school, her mother and sister, and Spike.

She didn't notice when Riley left to go back. She was never aware of anything else while she was on stage. An earthquake could occur, and she'd still be playing.

"So, Riley came to see you." Willow gave her a knowing look, as they left the stage. "It must be getting serious if he came across town for only five minutes."

Buffy smiled. "Yeah, he surprised me."

Spike walked up to them, looking unamused. "I'm glad to see you guys remembered most of what we practiced." He turned to Tara. "We need to work on you coming out more."

Buffy turned to him and crossed her arms. "We'll talk about this on Monday at practice. Right now, I just need something to drink."

Spike raised his eyebrow. He looked like he was about to say something, when he smiled. "That sounds like a good idea. I could use a good beer myself."

"Actually, I was thinking about some water." Buffy rolled her eyes and grabbed a bottle of water from her cooler.

Spike glared at her. "So, where's your Honey?"

"My what?"

"Your Honey." He stepped closer to her and smirked. "Your boyfriend. He didn't stay long, did he?"

Buffy cocked her head to the side. "He had to get back to help the Initiative after their gig."

"The Initiative?"

"Well, yeah." She shrugged nonchalantly, while trying not to grin. "He works for them."

Spike's face turned red with anger. "Your boyfriend is working for the Initiative? You're dating a man who probably helped destroy my column?"

Anger flared up in her. "He had nothing to do with your column - I asked him. He's just an assistant to Maggie Walsh and helps out with the band."

"He works directly with Maggie Walsh. That's just perfect." Spike shook his head.

"Maybe if you hadn't written such a cruel column, you'd still have it."

"If it hadn't been so "cruel", it wouldn't have been in twenty-six newspapers." Spike stared at a spot just above Buffy's head and slowly breathed out through his nose. "I don't feel much like celebrating. See you Monday."

Buffy quietly watched him leave. She hadn't talked to Spike about the column since he started working for them and hadn't realized that he was that upset about it. For the first time, she felt a twinge of sympathy for the man.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, blah blah.

* * *

"Why are you making us go to this?" Xander threw his head back with a groan.

Buffy cast him an annoyed look in the rear view mirror. "Riley wants us to come see the Initiative. So, everybody pretend they're good."

Willow shifted in her seat. "Maybe we can figure out why they're so popular."

"I still say they're paying people to come." Xander smiled. "I hope so - I could use some extra cash."

"I don't think even Walsh Incorporated has that much money. Something else is up." Tara softly spoke up from the back of the car.

"You don't think it's mind control, do you? Because I like my mind the way it is." Xander almost sounded worried, before breaking out in a grin.

Buffy laughed. She was glad Xander, Willow, and Tara came with her. Spike had refused to come, but she understood why. If Maggie Walsh caused Buffy to lose her band, she wouldn't want to come to one of their shows, either.

As she pulled into the parking lot of the Bronze, she brimmed with jealousy. The lot was full. Why did the Initiative get to play here, while the Scoobies were stuck playing at tiny bars?

Inside was just as packed as the outside lot. Riley had saved them a table, so they didn't need to search for one. He couldn't stay around, though, so with a kiss he left Buffy to go work. Xander and Tara went to get drinks.

Buffy turned to Willow, happy to have her alone for a minute. "Riley has this friend, and I was thinking that we could go on a double date." When Willow didn't say anything, she continued. "I know you probably aren't over Oz, but you don't have to think of this as a real date.."

"I'm already seeing someone." Willow looked at her hands.

"You are? Who is he?" Buffy felt hurt. She thought Willow could tell her anything. She forced herself to keep her smile. "Maybe we can.."

Willow placed her hand on Buffy's. "Buffy, I'm with Tara now."

Buffy tried to say something, but her tongue was tied. Willow's seeing Tara?

"But, you're straight," she blurted. She immediately regretted her choice of words.

"Apparently, I'm not." Willows eyes began to mist. "I need to.." She stood up and hurried into the women's room.

"Willow.." Buffy whispered.

Xander stopped in front of the table and glanced at where Willow ran. "What happened?"

"I said the wrong thing." Buffy laid her head in her hands.

Tara set her drink on the table. "I'll go talk to her."

Buffy watched Tara go into the restroom. She didn't mean to upset Willow, but she would never had thought that they two of them were dating. Tara and Willow had grown close, but Buffy just assumed Willow felt Tara needed a friend. Willow used to be very shy in high school, and being in the band helped bring her out of her shell.

"Anya, what are you doing here? And with Spike?" Xander's voice broke into Buffy's thoughts.

Buffy tore herself away from watching the restroom door to see Anya sit down next to Xander. Spike smiled a little and also sat at the table. Buffy felt a little better that he came - his presence was a comfort. She chided herself, though. Spike shouldn't make herself feel better.

"I need to talk to Willow." Buffy stood up in order to walk to the restroom.

Spike cocked his head to the side, his smile gone. "Don't go on account of me."

"Buffy said something to Willow that upset her." Xander shrugged. "Some girl stuff, I suppose."

Buffy shook her head slightly. "I have to talk to her," she repeated, walking past them.

She didn't like the fact that the first thought she had seeing Spike was that he'd understand. She could do this without him. Willow had been her good friend for the past five years. She didn't feel closer to anybody else, except maybe Xander. For the first time, she felt shut out of Willow's life. She had to try and change that.

Tara was holding Willow in the restroom and met Buffy's eyes when she walked in. She didn't seem to condemn or judge Buffy.

"Willow, I'm sorry." Buffy clasped her hands together. She took a deep breath. "I was just surprised. I'm happy you found someone. I really am."

Willow looked up from Tara's shoulder with tear stained cheeks. "Thank you." She smiled weakly.

Buffy hesitantly walked over to Willow and hugged her. Tara stood back and watched them with a small smile. Most of the guilt had disappeared, but Buffy felt deep down that things weren't the same as they were before. She pushed that nagging feeling away. Everything will get better with time, she thought.

Willow sniffed and pushed away from Buffy. "Hey, let's get back before they start playing."

Buffy was happy to see that Willow was attempting to be her old cheerful self. "Let's see if they've improved," she said with a laugh.

The three of them returned to the table. Spike looked bored, while Anya and Xander were arguing.

"You're supposed to buy me a drink. That's what men do on dates." Anya pouted.

Xander shook his head. "We're on a date? I didn't even know you were coming, and you showed up with Spike."

"He just offered me a ride." She turned to Spike. "You said he'd be happy to see me. He doesn't look happy."

Spike only shrugged. "He's a fool if he can't be happy to see you, luv."

Buffy narrowed her eyes and sat down next to him. "Why are you here? I thought you said you'd rather eat your own entrails."

"I changed my mind. Wanted to see why they keep bringing in the big crowds." Spike took a drink from his beer and made a face. "American beers."

Buffy picked up her own drink and took a sip. The ice hadn't melted yet, even though Xander bought it five minutes ago. "I hope you're not planning on doing anything during the show."

He raised his eyebrow, amused. "Like what?"

"Boo. Heckle. Things like that."

Spike chuckled. "You think I'd do something like that?"

"Well, you can't give them another scathing review."

"No, I can't." Spike turned in his seat to face the stage. Buffy closed her eyes. Is tonight, "put foot in mouth" night? Well, she wasn't about to apologize to him. She glanced at the rest of the table to see if they thought she should, and found that they were all occupied with each other. Willow and Tara were quietly talking to each other, and Xander was trying to get his wallet back from Anya. She felt left out of her friend's lives.

Riley sat down on the other side of her, and she felt the happiest she'd ever felt to see him. She ignored the fact that it was only because she was lonely. Spike glanced at Riley and looked back at the stage. It annoyed her that he was ignoring her.

"I just realized that tomorrow night is the first Saturday since we started seeing each other that we are both off." Riley smiled at Buffy.

Buffy smiled and didn't mention that not having a gig on a Saturday night, especially nowadays, wasn't a good thing, but he seemed happy. "The Initiative isn't playing tomorrow?"

"It's Maggie's birthday. She and Adam have plans."

Spike mumbled something, but Riley didn't seem to hear him.

"I was thinking that we should do something." Riley leaned in close. "We haven't spent much time alone."

Buffy was aware that Spike stiffened beside her. He was never going to like Riley because of Maggie Walsh, but that was his problem. Riley wasn't Maggie or Adam.

"I'd love to," she replied with a smile.

With the roar of the crowd, Riley settled back on his seat. Oh, boy, Buffy thought. The band was playing one of the songs she heard them play at Kilos - a catchy, generic song. Adam, however, surprised her. It was if they had gotten a new singer who looked just like him. His voice was like velvet, and it brought shivers to her spine. To say she was impressed with the improvement would be an understatement.

The rest of the set was the same. Adam sang beautifully. Something was up. She looked to Riley to see if he suspected anything, but he was just smiled even more at her. Willow and Xander had confused looks on their faces. Spike was turned away from her, so she couldn't see what he was thinking.

Riley left during the last song, so he would be there to help out when they finished. Spike turned and glared at him as he walked away.

"That's not Adam singing." Spike drank the rest of his beer.

"Are you accusing them of pulling a Milli Vanilli?" Buffy pushed her own suspicions aside. Riley couldn't be involved in something like that. "You're just bitter because you got fired."

Spike narrowed his eyes. "Maybe you can't see the truth because of Riley."

Willow touched Buffy's arm from across the table. "Adam did improve a little too much."

"No." She shook her head. "There has to be another explanation. Maybe he was just nervous last time or had a cold, or maybe the sound system was bad."

"Maybe," Willow said softly.

"Well, what do you think?" Buffy turned to Xander and Tara.

Xander held his hands up. "I don't know. He sounds much better than he did at Kilos."

Tara shrugged with apologetic eyes. Buffy turned away from all of them to watch Riley carry a speaker off the stage. He saw her and smiled. They were all wrong, she told herself.

* * *

Buffy tried to block out the clanging with her pillow, but it was no use. Could her mother and sister be any louder? She mentally listed sleeping in on Saturday as another reason to move out. Throwing on a robe, she made her way downstairs to the kitchen.

Her mom and sister were giggling as batter oozed out of the waffle iron. Buffy felt a tinge of jealousy at their closeness. Ever since she lived in a dorm for a year, living at home hadn't been the same.

"See, I told you that was too much batter." Her mom grabbed a fork and scrapped the batter off the side. She looked up to see Buffy. "Hey, you're a awake."

Buffy ran a hand through her hair and smiled a bit. "You guys were making too much noise."

"Do you want a waffle?" Her mother opened the cabinet to grab her a plate.

Buffy shook her head as she sat at the table. "No, I'll just have some juice."

Her mother frowned. "You really should eat more."

"She's probably hung-over." Dawn plopped her plate on the table and began to pour chocolate syrup on the waffle.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "I'm not hung over, I had one drink last night." She crinkled her nose at Dawn's waffle, which now included a sliced banana. "It's a wonder I ever get hungry when you eat like that."

Dawn took a bite and smiled like the Cheshire cat. "Yum!"

Joyce sat across from her daughters. "Since you're off tonight, I thought we could all do something - like go out to eat, rent cheesy movies, talk about boys."

Buffy smiled. "I have a date with Riley tonight. Maybe we could do something this afternoon."

"I have to work at the galley this afternoon. We're having a new exhibit Monday, and I need to help set it up." Joyce sighed. "I feel like we never do anything together anymore. You're so busy with school and the band."

"I know, mom." Buffy rubbed her forehead. Her mother wasn't trying to make her feel guilty, but sometimes it felt like it.

"Well, Dawn and I can do something, then."

"I'm going to take a shower." Buffy left the kitchen, trying push away the nagging feeling that she should spend that night with her family.

For the rest of the day, Buffy kept busy. There was studying and homework to catch up on. She also tried to play her guitar. Spike had encouraged her to try different things, and not to just practice the same old styles. She found herself wondering what he was doing instead.

Shaking her head, she put her guitar down. It was a good time to go to the store like her mom had asked earlier. She wasn't getting much practice done with Spike on her mind.

It wasn't a very long grocery list, mostly essentials. As Buffy headed towards the milk, she caught a glimpse of a man with bleached hair. She shook her head. Now you think you see Spike everywhere, she chided herself. He lives in another town, so he's not going to be at this grocery store. The man turned, and Buffy froze. It was Spike.

Tilting her head, she watched him pick up a block of cheese and examine it. She walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. "What are you doing in Sunnydale?"

He turned to her, surprised.

"Buying food." He held up his basket.

"I can see that. Why aren't you buying groceries at a store near your home?"

"I am." He smiled at her confused expression. "I got a place in the complex down the street."

"You moved here? Why?" Her stomach did flip flops at the idea that she'd see him more often.

"I had to drive forty five minutes each way when I came here." He shrugged. "My lease was up, anyway, so I decided to move. I finished moving this morning."

"Just like that." Buffy grabbed a bag of cheddar cheese cubes and put it in her basket.

He gave her a lazy smile that set her heart racing. "I think we'll see each other a lot more, now."

He was much more pleasant when Riley wasn't around, she thought. Buffy inwardly groaned. She wasn't going to get him off her mind if she kept running into him. He was making things complicated, and she wanted to push him away. "Well, I need to get home. I have a date in a few hours."

He pursed his lips. "Have fun." He placed the block of cheese in his basket and walked away.

Buffy's heart twisted, and she felt like she was betraying Spike. Spike knew Riley had nothing to do with his column, though. It's his problem, she told herself, trying to push the guilt away.

* * *

TBC - review please 


	7. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: Who owns these characters? Not I, they belong to Joss Whedon and company.

* * *

Buffy woke the next morning in a strange bed, cuddled next to a warm, male body. She felt relaxed and a little happier than she'd been in a while. She hadn't planned on sleeping with him - her past experiences had men running the next morning. He was still around, she thought with a smile as she noticed Riley watching her.

Riley smiled and kissed her. "Morning."

Buffy smiled and stretched, rolling to her back. "Listen to that."

"I don't hear anything."

"Exactly. No little sister or mom making noise." She glanced at the clock. "And it's ten. I haven't slept in this late in a long time."

Riley hovered over her and kissed her shoulder. "Well, we did stay up pretty late, so I don't know how much more you got."

Buffy chuckled. Riley had been pretty good. She got out her frustrations with Spike. She paused. Was she thinking about Spike during sex? She reached up and kissed Riley, trying to focus on her boyfriend. She sighed with relief that she was able to enjoy kissing him.

An hour later, she was on her way home. Riley had to meet with Maggie Walsh about work. Buffy felt sorry that he had to work on Sunday, but was glad to leave. She needed some alone time.

Her cell phone rang, and Buffy noticed that it was her sister calling. Buffy had told her mom that she wasn't coming home the night before, they knew where she was.

Buffy flipped open her phone. "Dawn?"

"Buffy?" Her sister sounded upset. "Something's wrong with mom. She fainted or something, and I couldn't wake her up."

Buffy's heart stopped. "I'm on my way home, now. Did you call an ambulance?"

"Yes. We're going to the hospital."

"I'll meet you there." Buffy made a u-turn and headed the other direction.

Buffy's hands tightened on the steering wheel. Why didn't she spend last night with her mom like she wanted? Now, she may never see her again. No, don't think that way, she scolded herself. Mom's young and healthy. She just fainted. People faint all the time.

By the time she arrived to the hospital, her mother was awake, but they wouldn't let her see her. Dawn rushed to Buffy, crying. Buffy patted her on the back, staying strong for her sister.

After what felt like an eternity, a doctor walked up to them. "Miss Summers? Your mother is doing fine, but we'd like to keep her here a few days for observation and some more tests."

Buffy sighed a breath of relief. "What happened?" Buffy squeezed Dawn's hand.

"That's what we'd like to find out. Her blood pressure and sugars are normal."

"Can we see her?" Dawn bit her nails.

The doctor smiled. "Sure. Right this way." He led them down the hall to the elevator. "We've already moved her to a private room."

Her mother looked pale. She was getting fluids through an IV, and she had bandages where they'd drawn blood.

"Hey, girls." She sighed. "They want to keep me here for a few days."

"We'll stay here with you." Buffy touched her mom's hand.

"You both are going to school tomorrow." Her mother's voice was stern. "I'll be fine."

"I'll take Dawn to school, but I can miss a few classes." Buffy didn't want to leave her alone.

"No." Joyce shook her head. "You can come by after class, but I want you both to do your homework while you're here. I'm not going to be responsible for bad grades."

"I don't want you to be alone." Buffy pleaded, but her mother just gave her a monitory look.

Buffy pulled out her cell phone, but then she remembered that she couldn't use it in the hospital. She picked up the phone on the table next to her mother and called Willow. One way or another, her mom wasn't going to be alone. After talking to both Willow and Xander, she turned to her mother.

"Okay. Both of us are staying today until they kick us out tonight. Tomorrow, I'll take Dawn to school at 8:00. My first class is at 9:00. Xander said he could come by to keep you company until the end of my 11:00 class. Then, Willow and Tara will come by at 1:00, and I'll go back to campus. I'm done with classes at 3:00, so I'll pick up Dawn and come back here."

Her mother gave her a small smile. "You have good friends." Her smile widened. "But, sometimes you can be pretty stubborn."

"It helps get things done."

She nodded. "Just know when to let things drop. You could end up staying in one place and nothing gets resolved."

Buffy wasn't sure where this conversation was heading, so she took her mother's advice and dropped the subject. "Do you want me to run home and get some of your things?"

For the rest of the day, she and Dawn stayed with her mother. At ten, they had to leave because visiting hours were over. She hoped nothing was wrong.

* * *

The Magic Shop was dark when Spike pulled his car into the parking lot at seven. Usually, they still left the lights on when they had practice. Frowning, Spike attempted to open the door, but it was locked. He made his way to the alley behind the store to try that entrance, but it too was locked.

Pissed off that they canceled practice and didn't think to call him, Spike pulled out his cell phone and called Buffy's number. He got her voice mail. Shaking his head, he called Willow.

"Hello?" A sleepy voice answered.

"Willow? Don't we have practice tonight? Where is everybody?"

"Nobody called you?" Willow paused. "Buffy's mom is in the hospital. She fainted and they're trying to find out why. I guess with all the drama, nobody remembered to call you."

Spike's anger melted away. "Is Buffy at the hospital?"

"I think so. She was going to go after picking up Dawn from school."

"Thanks." He hung up the phone.

He stopped by a coffee shop before going to the hospital. He'd never met Buffy's mom before, but he didn't want Buffy to be hurting. He remembered his own mother's illness. As much as Buffy irritated him, she didn't deserve this.

At the hospital, he walked to the room where he was told she was staying. He peeked in the window and saw Buffy and a younger girl doing homework by their mother's bedside. Her mother was sleeping. He knocked.

Buffy looked up at him from across the room. He could have sworn there was a slight smile, before it disappeared.

"I heard about your mum." He held up the coffee and pastries when she opened the door. "The food in hospitals is horrible, so I thought you'd like something better."

The younger girl ran to the door. "Ooh, food. I'm Dawn." She held out her hand.

He smiled at her and shook her hand. "You must be Buffy's sister."

"Come in, Spike." Buffy pushed open the door. She took a cup of coffee, and walked back to her chair by the bed.

"How's she doing?" Spike indicated the bed.

"Tired. She's been poked and prodded all day."

Spike nodded. "And she just wants to go home, right?"

Buffy gave him a small smile. "That's all she talks about."

For the next few hours, Spike stayed. He helped Dawn with her homework and talked to Buffy about her mom. He could tell she was guarding her feelings, probably to be strong for her little sister.

Joyce woke up during that time, and he found her to be a pleasant woman. He hoped that she wasn't sick. She still had many years left in her, he thought sadly.

"Buffy tells me that you used to tour with your father's band. I bet that was fun." Joyce smiled.

Memories of himself at a younger, angrier age flooded him. He had resented his father for not being there for him and his mother. Her last wish was that Spike would spend time with him. After she died, he reluctantly went on tour with his father's band.

Not wanting to bring up his past, he nodded. "I learned all I know about the music industry from those years."

Dawn spoke up, intrigued. "Did you play an instrument?"

He paused, trying to think of the best way to answer. "No. I didn't want to be like my father. He was always touring when I was a kid."

Buffy gave him a small smile before turning back to her homework. He knew her parents were divorced, and wondered if her own father had spent a lot of time away. That small smile was probably the closest he was going to get to the truth.

At that moment, Spike realized that Riley had never come by to visit. As much as he disliked Buffy's boyfriend, he knew Riley would have been there in a heartbeat. Obviously, Buffy had never told him. Instead of gloating, he was concerned.

"They want to take a CAT scan tomorrow," Her mother said, quietly. "They haven't found anything so far, and they want to check this."

Buffy looked up at her mother. "Is it your brain?" She asked in a monotone voice.

"They don't know, honey." Joyce reached up and touched Buffy's cheek. "It's probably nothing. They just want to check everything. And if it is something, they said it's early enough that it probably won't be a problem."

"I want to be here when it's done." Buffy glanced at Dawn. "I can take Dawn to school."

"It's supposed to take a few hours. You don't need to wait around for me."

Buffy didn't answer her. A nurse came in at that moment and told them that visiting hours were almost over. Spike excused himself from the room. He had started to feel a little uncomfortable in there. It was if he was witnessing a private family moment.

He had only come to the hospital to make Buffy feel better.


	8. Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: This story has many characters, but I don't own any of them. I won't even claim the extras. Joss Whedon and friends have that right.

* * *

Buffy couldn't remember a worse time in her life. The doctors found something in the cat scan, and her mother was in surgery. It had been hours, and every minute felt like an eternity. Her mother had a tumor in her brain.

She stroked Dawn's hair as she slept in Buffy's lap. It had been a hard week. Neither of them slept much. A cup of coffee was handed to her, and she gave Spike a small smile as he sat down next to her. He had surprised her by showing up everyday. She didn't know why, but his presence soothed her.

"Thanks. I don't know if I can stay awake without this." She took a sip of the coffee.

"Why don't you take a nap? It might be a few more hours." Spike fiddled with his hands in his lap.

Buffy shook her head. "I want to be awake if there's news about my mom."

Spike gave her a look of sympathy. She was too tired to ask him why he cared.

"Just last week, I hated the noise my mom made every morning. I wanted so badly to move out." Buffy bit her lip to keep her composure. "Now, the house is too quiet."

Spike nodded in understanding. He had told her that his mother had died after a long illness when he was younger. The fact that he knew what she was going through, made her feel closer to him.

"Buffy?"

She looked up to see Riley quickly walking towards her. God, she'd been so worried about her mom, that she forgot to call him. Gently pushing Dawn off her lap, she quickly walked to her boyfriend and let him hold her. It felt good to be held.

"I'm so glad you came." She held on to him tightly.

"Willow called me. You should have told me."

Buffy rubbed his back. "I've been so preoccupied, I don't even know what day it is."

"I understand." He paused. "I'm surprised Spike came to the hospital."

Buffy looked to where Spike was sitting, but the chair was empty. "Me, too. He's been here every day."

Riley stiffened and looked at her. His eyes conveyed his hurt. "He's known for a week?"

"Miss Summers?" The doctor who had operated on Joyce came into the room. "Your mother is doing fine. We've moved her to the recovery room."

Buffy let out the breath she was holding, the look of hurt in Riley's eyes forgotten. "When can I see her?"

"She shouldn't be disturbed for a few hours. Why don't you take a break and get something to eat?"

Buffy nodded and turned to Riley. "She's okay." All the tension left her body.

Riley smiled, his previous unease gone. "I'm sure you're hungry. Why don't we go down to the cafeteria."

Buffy walked over to wake up Dawn. She realized that Spike never came back, and her stomach jumped. Was he still mad at Riley? Pushing thoughts of him away, she focused on just being happy her mother was okay.

* * *

"I don't think I should have left her alone." Buffy watched the crowd from the car window as Riley found a parking place.

Riley put the car in park and turned off the ignition. "She'll be fine. You both needed to get out of that hospital."

Dawn stuck her head in the front seat. "Mom basically pushed us out of the room."

Buffy smiled a little as she remembered her mother's insistence that they do something besides sit in her room. Even sick, her mother was clearly in charge. Buffy didn't know what she would have done if the surgery hadn't been a success.

A group of squealing teenage girls passed them. An Initiative show was not the first thing Buffy would have chosen, but it would get her mind off her mother. Thinking about anything else was the main purpose for the outing.

Riley took her hand into his and led them both past the bouncer. Buffy tried to think about how normal and comfortable it was. Here was her caring boyfriend, and they were going on a regular date. Well, it was a regular date along with her sister.

She couldn't help but think about the last time she saw the Initiative. Spike had insisted that it wasn't Adam singing. He was never going to get along with Riley - not while he didn't have his column. She wished she could stay out of it, but she was stuck in the middle.

The band came onto the stage as they did the last time she saw them. When Adam started to sing, her mind became clear. Before, she thought it was strange that he had improved so much. Now, with the idea that it wasn't really him already in her mind, she couldn't convince herself that Spike was wrong. The voice was different. Even if Adam had improved, it wouldn't sound like this. Why didn't she notice it last time?

There was something funny going on. Even when Adam sounded awful, the Initiative had a fanatical following and got great gigs. A thought nagged at her that this was connected to the lack of gigs on the Scoobies' end. But, she thought to herself, that was too outrageous.

Riley squeezed her hand under the table. She was going to have to tell him the truth. Hopefully, he will understand.

After the concert, Riley asked if they wanted ice cream. Buffy wanted to get back to the hospital, so she declined. When they got to the hospital, they dropped Dawn off and went to park the car. As soon as the car was parked in the garage, Riley leaned over to kiss her.

Buffy turned it into a chaste kiss. "Riley, I need to tell you something."

"Nothing bad, I hope."

Buffy gave a weak smile and looked out of the window. "It's about the Initiative."

Riley furrowed his brow. "What about them?"

"I don't think that's Adam singing." Buffy continued when he remained silent. "I saw them perform a few months ago, and he sounded... different. Then last time I saw him, I thought it was strange that he had improved so much. But Spike said.."

"Spike? He's jealous and bitter. I wouldn't listen to anything he has to say about the Initiative."

"That's what I told myself last time." Buffy laid her hand on his arm. "But, after listening to them tonight, I realized that he was right. It's not Adam's voice."

Riley was quiet for a moment. "You're wrong." He shook his head. "Maggie Walsh is in charge, and she wouldn't do that. She's the CEO and President of a multinational company. She's been like a mother to me."

She touched the side of his face. "I'm sorry."

Riley only shook his head slowly. "When I was younger, I wanted to be a rock star. Unfortunately, I never had any talent. I went to business school, instead. When Maggie told me about the Initiative, I thought at least a little part of my old dream could come true. Sure, I'm not on stage or getting the cheers, but I'm a part of them." He peered into Buffy's eyes. "I won't believe that it's all an illusion."

He got out of the car and opened her door for her. She let him drop the subject. He would find out the truth eventually.

* * *

The Initiative practiced at night in one of the corporate buildings. Riley had been there once when he first started helping out in order to meet the band. He stayed and thought they were pretty good. Of course, he really couldn't tell the difference between rock bands, so his opinion may not have been valuable. After that, Maggie told him that he didn't need to waste his free time watching them practice. Riley agreed with this, he never did anything except move equipment. Now, he had doubts and wanted to know the truth.

He could hear them practicing as he walked down the hallway. The drummer played a few riffs and the bass was warming up. Riley's heart lightened. He may not have had a good ear for music, but he could tell that wasn't a recording. Buffy and Spike were wrong.

They started a new song when he reached the door. Peaking in the room, his heart dropped. The band was playing, and Adam was singing. Except that it couldn't have been Adam, because he was just watching the band.

"Okay, now let's try it with movement. Remember, Adam, don't let anything in the audience distract you, or people will know." Maggie Walsh, looking professional in her business suit, stood in front of the band with a clipboard.

The band began playing the song again. Riley noticed that the keyboard player started the song. In fact, Riley remembered that he started every song. This time Adam moved, lip-singing perfectly.

Riley stood in the doorway, unnoticed. If Maggie was willing to cheat for a small band, what else did she cheat on? He had trusted her.

"Riley? What are you doing here?" Maggie held up her hand for the band to stopped and walked over.

Riley looked at her with new eyes. "Adam's not really singing. This whole thing's a fraud."

"Why did you come here?" Her voice was low.

"Buffy said that it wasn't really Adam singing. I had to see it for myself. She was right."

Maggie scowled and smoothed the back of the short, blonde hair. "I knew there'd be a problem if you dated someone from the Scoobies."

"No, you aren't going to blame this on her. You are the one cheating - I saw you." Riley ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "I can't do this."

"You're not going to help the band?"

"I can't work for you. I quit." Riley turned and left.

She didn't try to stop him as he walked out the building. He had admired Maggie, but she turned out to be un-trustworthy. What was he going to do now? He wanted to talk to Buffy, but relationship was strained ever since she hadn't told him about her mother. He could have understood if she only told Willow or Xander - she had known them longer. But, Spike, a man Buffy claimed to hate, knew longer than he did.

He felt all alone.

* * *

Maggie shook with anger. For months, she had this planned out, and now it was in jeopardy. Adam wanted to be a lead singer in a popular band. She was just doing what any mother would do to make sure he gets his dream.

"It's our word against theirs. They can't prove anything." Adam rested his hand on his mother's shoulder.

Maggie smiled at her son. "You're right. We don't have a tape or cd of the voice."

Adam glanced at the keyboard. "It's all in there."

"I'm worried by the Scoobies, though. Not only do they suspect us, but have a good chance of winning the Battle of the Bands."

Adam's face grew dark. "I thought you were going to take care of them."

Maggie paled, but she threw herself together. "I paid almost every club around here to cancel their shows. I thought it would have caused them to break up, but they seem to be getting better instead."

"That's because they have Spike helping them."

"From the Lethal Bite? I wondered what he was doing now," Maggie mumbled.

Adam smiled wickedly. "There could be a way to use him to our advantage. I'm sure if Spike got the idea he could get his column back, he'd be willing to help us with our problem."

Maggie relaxed, sometimes she just needed to let him do things himself. "You make a mother proud."

* * *

TBC - Please review. 


	9. Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: These characters belong to Joss Whedon and company - not me.

* * *

Entering the back room the of the Magic Shop, Spike was immediately annoyed that the Scoobies were talking and not practicing. When he saw that Riley was sitting in a chair in the back, he was peeved.

"There won't be any talking tonight. We have a lot we need to catch up on." Spike turned to Buffy. "People who are not in the band do not need to be here. Especially those who work for rival bands."

Fire danced in Buffy's eyes. It only made her look more beautiful. "This is my band, and if I want the entire town to watch us practice, they can."

"Well, if you want my help.."

Riley spoke up then, his voice flat. "You don't need to worry about me working for the Initiative - I quit a few days ago." He stood up. "If you still want me to leave, I can go."

"Riley, stay." Buffy looked at Riley with sympathetic eyes. Then, she turned to Spike and dared him to defy her.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Fine, he can stay."

Spike pushed them for the rest of the evening, taking out his frustrations with Buffy on them. He was still hurt from when Buffy shoved him to the side to take comfort from Riley at the hospital. When Riley had showed up, Spike had never been more angry. Then, Spike was angry because he was angry. He had recognized the feeling. It was jealousy.

Now, Riley was here, apparently having just quit the Initiative. Spike didn't have that as an excuse to dislike him. Riley was kind and, if Spike was honest with himself, he could be a good man for Buffy. It would be so much easier if he was an abuser or cheater. Instead, the only thing that seemed wrong about their relationship was that Buffy didn't seem to love him as much as Riley loved her.

That little crumb is what kept Spike from walking out the door, for he realized that he was in love with her.

He pushed his feelings down into the pit of his stomach, refusing half the time to look at Buffy. By the time practice was over, he realized he had only concentrated on the rest of the band. They wearily said their goodbyes because he had worked them harder than he meant.

Spike was tired by the time he got home. The light outside his apartment was out, making it difficult to unlock his front door. His spine tingled, telling him that someone else was nearby. He swirled around, raising his keys up as a weapon.

"Spike, I need to talk to you." Adam stood stoic behind him.

Spike eyed him wearily. "About what?"

"I understand that you're suspicious, but we can both help each other. There is something I need and something you want."

Spike raised his eyebrow. "Is this about the Scoobies knowing that you pretend to sing up there? Riley had such an interesting story to tell us all. I wasn't really surprised."

"Yes, well all you have is the word of a disgruntled ex-employee as evidence. I'm not really worried about that."

"What's this all about, then?" Spike leaned on the door.

Adam took a step closer. "You've been helping the Scoobies, and now they have a good chance at winning the Battle of the Bands."

"And you want me to do a little sabotage."

"I want the band gone."

Spike crossed his arms over this chest. "Why would I do that? If they broke up, I'd be out of a job."

"You could have your column back. One word from mother, and the newspapers would change their minds."

Red hot anger burned through Spike. Maggie Walsh was the reason he lost his column, and now they want him to betray the Scoobies to get it back. But, he could have it again. The anger was slowly replaced by a feeling of resignation. It wasn't like there was anything holding him to the band. Buffy hadn't said three words to him at practice that night, unless they were about Riley or the band. Who was he kidding? He didn't have a chance with her, even if she dumped Riley.

"Okay, I'll do it. I want that column back, so you'd better deliver."

Adam smiled and shook his hand. "You have my word."

A feeling of dread came over Spike. He tried to get rid of it, but he couldn't shake it. What did he just agree to do?

* * *

"Mom! What are you doing out of bed?" Buffy's heart beat wildly in her chest. Her mother was in the kitchen, washing dishes. "I can do that."

"I'm fine." Joyce rinsed a glass and put it on the dish rack. "Dr. Issacs said I could get up if I felt better. If I spend one more minute in that bed, I'm going to go crazy."

Buffy picked up the glass and began to dry it. "You are looking better. I'm just worried."

"Enough about me. How are things? I heard your band is really improving."

Buffy smiled. "Giles and Spike both think we have a good chance at winning the Battle of the Bands in a few months."

"That's great, honey! I'm sure you are all are excited."

"We are." Buffy thought about the last practice. "Spike's been acting strange, though, ever since we started practicing again."

Joyce furrowed her brow and looked at her. "How so?"

"He doesn't talk to anybody, unless it's to give us directions. He never asked about you."

"Has Riley been at these practices?" Joyce placed the sponge on the counter.

Buffy nodded. "I don't think Riley has anything to do with it. Spike knows he quit the Initiative."

Joyce raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

"You think he's jealous of Riley? Spike doesn't even like me."

Joyce toweled her hands off and turned to her. "I don't know. Usually, if a man doesn't like someone, he doesn't spend a week in her mother's hospital room."

Everything made sense - Spike's attitude and disappearance from the hospital. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought. She shook her head. She already had a boyfriend, she told herself. But the idea of being with Spike wouldn't leave her mind.

* * *

Buffy frowned and wiped the sweat from her brow. Usually, she was completely calm after a show. She tried to enjoy her first performance since her mom's surgery, but she had nagging worries about her mom. Hopefully, it didn't affect her performance, she thought.

"You did good." Willow smiled and handed her a water bottle.

Buffy returned the smile. "Thanks. I kept thinking of my mom."

"And it showed." Spike took a sip of his beer. "I hope you're one hundred percent into the performance for the Battle of the Bands."

Buffy glared at him. "Well, by then she'll be completely recovered, so don't worry." She turned away from him and mumbled, "Not that you care."

He brushed past her, walking to the other side of the club. She tried to ignore the rush in her chest at the contact.

Riley walked up and hugged her. "You were wonderful. I can never get tired of watching you perform."

Buffy saw Spike glowering at the bar and hugged Riley back. "I'm kind of tired, and I want to check on my mom. Do you mind if we left early?"

"No. We can leave now." Riley took her hand and led her out the door.

Buffy or Riley didn't speak much on the ride home. The house was dark when she arrived. Softly kissing Riley, she moved to get out of the car.

"Do you want to come inside?" Buffy paused at the door.

Riley brushed her hand with his fingertips. "I should probably pass. Looks like your mom is asleep."

Buffy nodded and got out of the car. A little relieved, she made her way in the house. She hadn't felt much like being intimate with Riley since her mom became sick. Her mom was getting better, though. Deep down, a nagging guilt told her that her mom was just an excuse.

After glancing in her mom's room, she flopped on the couch and watched television. She wasn't really tired, but she didn't want to be around Spike. Would it hurt him to say something nice after a show?

After the movie she was watching was over, she found a band that was playing a similar rock style that the Scoobies played. While she admired the lead singer playing, she suddenly realized that she left her own guitar at the bar. Jumping up, she grabbed her cell phone and called Willow.

"Are you still at the club?" Buffy rushed to her car.

"We left ten minutes ago. What's wrong?"

"I left my guitar. Did you see it?"

"No. Do you want me to go back?"

"No, I'm on my way."

How could she be so stupid? That guitar was her baby. Pulling into the parking lot, she was relieved that the club was still open.

A quick glance at the stage, and her heart dropped. It wasn't there. She ran over and searched behind the stage and the nearby tables, turning up nothing. Trying to stay calm, she asked the bartender if anyone had turned in a guitar. A tear trickled down her cheek, when he shook his head.

A man sitting at a table under the stairs caught her eye. Spike. At his feet, was her guitar. She was so overjoyed, she didn't wonder why he was still there or see the man sitting next to him.

"Spike, I thought we had a deal. You were supposed to make sure the Scoobies didn't play anymore." Adam's voice broke through to her.

Buffy stopped dead a few feet from the table. "You're working with him against us?"

"Buffy, it's not what you think." Spike scrambled to stand up.

She couldn't hold back her tears. Blindly, she grabbed her guitar and ran. She didn't know where she was going, but she had to get out of there. She had trusted him.

Somehow, she made it to the alley behind the bar. Clutching her guitar, the pain from his betrayal wracked through her body. She leaned against the wall of the club and cried. It seemed like when something good happened, something terrible came along. When she got closer to Riley, her mom became sick. When her mom was getting better, Spike betrayed her. Her mom was wrong, he wasn't interested in her at all. This Adam thing was the reason he was acting funny.

The creak of the club door brought her attention to the fact that Spike had followed her.

"He promised to give me my column back." He slowly walked up to her.

Buffy looked up at him in disgust. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"It was the most important thing in my life. You would have done the same thing to get your band back."

"No, I wouldn't. I would never take someone's dream away for my own." Buffy shook her head, then suddenly snorted. "You're no better than Maggie Walsh."

She had to get away from him. Shifting the guitar to her right hand, she started to walk away from him. He grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"I was going to tell Adam that the deal was off," Spike pleaded. "I couldn't hurt you."

Buffy turned to face him and pushed away his hand. "Why? You can't stand me." Her voice choked.

"I do." Spike stepped closer.

Buffy's head was spinning, and he was too close. Her emotions strained, she let out a feeble, "No."

His eyes flared, and his mouth crashed down on hers. She didn't push him away, because deep down she wanted and needed this. Instead, she responded immediately, drawing strength and comfort from him. His lips, firm but yielding, softly caressed her own. A spark, deep in her belly, suddenly exploded into a wave of desire that touched every nerve of her body.

He had her against the wall. All she was aware of was the hard body pressed into hers and the smooth tongue seeking her mouth. Her fingers ran through his hair, holding him tightly against her as she gave him access.

His hand skimmed down her shoulder and touched her breast, jarring her back to reality. Pushing him away, she scrambled to the other side of the alley.

"I have a boyfriend. We can't do this."

There was something in his expression - pain? Confused, she ran to her car. He didn't follow her.

* * *

TBC - I like reviews. 


	10. Chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: These characters belong to Joss Whedon and friends. I don't own them, even in these incarnations.

* * *

Riley had always thought he was a good person, but nowadays he knew he was being selfish. He wished Joyce had never been sick and mostly because Buffy hadn't come over since then. She had pushed him away. He understood that she felt guilty for not spending enough time with her mom. He just wished she would get over it and spend some real time with him.

Grabbing his keys, he walked across his living room to go to one of her practices. This was really the only time he ever saw her. Afterwards, they sometimes grabbed a bite to eat, but she was always too tired to do anything else.

The phone rang, and he was tempted to just let the machine get it. Sighing, he answered it in case it was important.

"We need to talk."

"Adam. Why are you calling me?" Riley wanted to push everyone involved with Maggie Walsh as far away as possible after what he found out about them.

"It's about Spike. I think you need to watch out for him."

Riley sighed. "Is this about him helping the Scoobies? Are you afraid they're going to win that contest?"

"No. Look, I always thought of you as a friend, and if this was happening to me, I'd want someone to tell me. Spike wants Buffy for himself, and I believe Buffy has the same feelings."

"What? Why would you think that?"

"I have my reasons. Just watch the two of them. You'll see." Adam hung up the phone.

Riley stood with the phone in his hand for a few minutes, before finally returning it to the cradle. He never liked Spike, but Buffy didn't seem to like him, either. Adam was up to something - he was the one who couldn't be trusted.

When Riley arrived at the Magic Shop, he saw the two of them in a quiet argument. If he was being reasonable, he'd realize that they were standing that close because they didn't want to speak loudly and disturb the customers. All he could think about, though, was what Adam had said

"We can't perform there. I need to see the place first so I can see what type of crowd they have." Buffy reached out and squeezed Riley's hand when he stood next to her.

Spike narrowed his eyes. "You guys need a gig, and I got you one. I've been to this bar many times before, and the crowd is great."

"It's out in the middle of the desert by the highway! The crowd probably changes every night."

"Why don't you trust.." Spike looked away.

Buffy closed her eyes. Riley felt like there was something more to this conversation than what he was hearing.

"If you turn this gig down, Xander may not be able to pay this month's rent." Spike tilted his head towards Xander and Willow, who were talking in the practice room. "I think Tara's having some money problems, too."

Buffy glanced over at them and pressed her hands on her forehead. "They told you that?"

"I overheard them talking."

Riley began to rub small circles in Buffy's back. "Maybe you should play at this bar. You could think of it as a way get your music to new people."

"You're right. Okay, we'll do it."

Spike stiffened, nodded, and walked into the practice room. As Riley watched him leave his sight, he realized that Adam was right about Spike. His demeanor changed when Riley touched Buffy. He didn't think it was just from a general dislike of himself.

As soon as the shop closed, the Scoobies began their practice. Spike was making a lot of changes, saying that he wanted them to try them the next night. At one point in the last song, Spike wanted Buffy to lunge forward on one leg.

"You want me to do that in a skirt?"

"Wear pants, then."

Buffy placed her hands on her hips. "I'm not changing my outfit, and I'm not getting on my knees."

Spike chuckled, causing Buffy's face to redden. Riley almost said something, then. In all the practices he had watched, Spike had never embarrassed her. Buffy nodded to the band and started to play the part with the suggested move. Buffy twirled on her foot, instead.

"I'm going to do that." Buffy raised an eyebrow, challenging Spike to say anything. After a beat, Spike merely shrugged.

"Why don't we take a break?" Willow wiped her brow with her sleeve.

"Good idea." Buffy removed her guitar and walked over to Riley.

He handed her a water bottle. "I think you're doing very well."

Buffy shook her head. "He's driving me crazy." She glanced over at Spike, who was talking to Xander on the other side of the room. "What was that lunge crap? He knows I always wear a mini skirt. And then, he's all "whatever" when I make a suggestion."

"I liked your move." Riley placed his hand on her arm.

Buffy didn't seem to notice him. She started to pace, knocking his hand free. "And why are we changing so much stuff the day before a performance? We're never going to remember it all, and we'll end up forgetting half of it."

"Hey, doesn't he work for you? Just tell him that it's too many changes." Riley closed his eyes to keep calm.

She stopped pacing. "Yeah, he works for me. I'm in charge, here." With a determined lift of her chin, she stalked over to Spike. He should be proud of her, he thought. She's taking control of her life, but the whole exchange left him cold.

She hadn't looked him in the eye the whole night.

* * *

Spike knew he'd made a mistake the minute he walked in the door. The bar only had a few people this early in the evening, but they were drunkenly arguing with each other. There were chips in the walls, and the furniture was scuffed. Buffy stopped next to him and stiffened.

"Why is there a fence around the stage?"

"Sometimes the crowd gets a little rough. It's for your protection." The owner, a hulking, older man with a ponytail, passed Buffy.

Buffy gave Spike a murderous look before following the owner to set up their equipment. Spike's heartbeat increased, and desire flooded him. She was beautiful when she was angry, he thought smiling. His smile disappeared, however, when Riley passed by him to help Buffy. Remembering the kiss from the other night, he knew she returned some of his feelings. But, she made her choice - even if it did anger him.

She continued to glare at Spike while they got things ready. Whenever she passed him, she knocked his arm with her shoulder until, finally, he grabbed her hand.

"What's the matter with you?"

"Don't touch me!" She snatched her hand back.

"Hey!" Riley stood between them and stared down at Spike.

Spike smirked. "Tell your girlfriend to stop rubbing against me."

Riley turned red and paused. After glancing at Buffy, he crossed over to Xander and helped him with the drum set. Buffy narrowed her eyes at Spike.

"Thanks a lot." She turned her back to him and finished setting the speakers.

Willow, with Tara following, walked over to stand by Spike. "Um..this place is...different from what we're used to."

Spike turned to them with a small smile. "Don't worry about anything. I've been here hundreds of times, and your type of music is exactly what this crowd loves."

He didn't tell them his doubts. The place seemed a little rougher than he remembered. They were a good band, he told himself, they should do fine. But as more people came into the bar, he realized that the people they saw when they first arrived were not like the rest of the crowd. The rest of the crowd was much worse.

He walked over to Buffy. "Don't play anything slow - keep it upbeat."

She nodded, eyeing the crowd. As she consulted with the rest of the Scoobies, he was thankful that she listened to him. The owner told them to start playing before the crowd became restless. Xander, Willow, and Tara ran to the stage and began to the sounds of whistles and cat calls.

Buffy ran onstage and started out strongly. The crowd, mostly men, excited at the pretty women, called out to them. Buffy smiled back as she sang. The first song they did was short. Afterwards, Buffy began to introduce the band.

"We're the Scoobies. I'm Buffy, and.."

"Show us your tits!" Someone in the crowd shouted to the approval of the crowd.

Buffy's smile slightly faltered, but she continued. "this is Willow, Tara, and Xander."

"Shut up and play something!" Another voice bellowed out.

Buffy nodded to the rest of the band and began to play the next song. Her voice wasn't as strong as she sang this time. She's nervous, Spike realized. The crowd, like a pack of wolves to a lame deer, jumped on her.

They booed and jeered. "You suck!"

Buffy's voice became weaker until she stopped and took a deep breath. With her eyes closed, she started to sing strongly again. The audience continued to boo, but she ignored them. The rest of the band followed her lead and continued to play. Spike was proud of them, most people would have left the stage. Maybe this would turn out okay, after all, he thought.

A beer bottle shattered against the fence in front of Buffy. She jumped and stopped playing. Someone threw another bottle, and Buffy cried out and grabbed her arm. Willow ran over to Buffy. The crowd became enraged that they weren't playing anymore and started fighting among themselves.

The owner ran over to them. "You need to leave, the crowd's getting out of control. You can get your stuff later."

Buffy ran to the door behind the stage and threw it open, the others following her. Spike and Riley fought through the crowd to get outside. Willow and Tara were in tears, but Buffy looked emotionless.

"Are you okay?" Riley looked at her arm where she was bleeding. It didn't seem as bad as when she was on stage.

She noticed Spike, and her eyes turned red. "Was this part of your plan?"

Xander furrowed his brow. "What plan?"

"Spike's plan to break up the Scoobies. Adam said he'd get him his column back if he succeeded."

Spike stepped towards Buffy. "I'm not trying to break you guys up. I turned him down."

"Why don't I believe you? You told Adam that you agreed to do it."

Tara tilted her head. "Is that true?"

"At first, but I changed my mind."

Xander, Willow, and Tara looked betrayed. Xander shook his head.

"I'm not sure what to believe, but I don't want to be around you right now."

"I think you've done enough damage, Spike." Buffy glanced at the door to the bar. The sounds of the fight inside were louder than before.

"I didn't mean for this to happen."

Buffy turned on him, suddenly. "I told you that I needed to observe the crowd before performing. This was the worse experience in my entire life! I've never felt so humiliated and degraded."

Tears began to well up in her eyes. Riley gently patted her on the arm, but she remained as still as a statue.

"You're fired."

* * *

TBC - Thanks for the reviews. 


	11. Chapter 11

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. Neither do you, unless you are Joss Whedon and company.

* * *

The sound of her guitar didn't sooth her like it usually did. Buffy groaned. It had been three days, but she was still angry. And hurt.

She believed Spike when he told her he told Adam no. Part of her knew the bar was an accident, but she'd never been in front of a crowd that horrible. It was easier to blame Spike than to face the growing feelings she was having for him. Touching her lip, the memories of that burning kiss flooded back to her.

She had been so hurt when she found Spike with Adam. It wasn't that he thought his column was more important than her band. It was that he had agreed to hurt them for his own gain.

But then he said that he turned Adam down, and she was so confused. The confusion grew when he stopped her from leaving and stood so close. She knew in that moment that he wanted her. And she knew that she wanted him, too.

She wasn't in her right mind, she told herself. She had tried to push the memory of the kiss away, but it still nagged at her. She had never experienced a kiss like that. It had sparked in every nerve of her being. Since then, she never brought it up to him, nor did he.

Something had been bound to happen to break the growing tension between her and Spike. The kiss only intensified things. She had been afraid to talk to him - afraid of what might happen between them. The experience at the bar broke the straw. She didn't know if she could trust him, and firing him made it so she didn't have to.

The rest of the Scoobies were still upset. In all previous gigs, they had never even been booed, except for a few here and there. It would take a while and some better gigs to change that. Except, they still weren't getting many gigs.

The only good that came out of that horrible night was that they were still paid, and their equipment was still okay.

The door to the practice room opened and Riley stepped in. "Hi. Your mom said you were here."

Buffy smiled softly. "I wanted to practice. It's too distracting at home."

Riley pulled a chair over to her and sat down. "Want a break? We could get something to eat?"

"No, thanks. I'm not hungry." She placed her guitar down and looked around the room. "I need to go over our songs. Who knows if Spike's changes are any good? It wouldn't surprise me if he tried to make us worse."

"I'm sure they're okay."

"I need to try this song again." She picked up her guitar again and began to play.

They sat with only the sound of the guitar in the room. She played one of Spike's changes, but she couldn't determine if it was better than the original version. So, she played the original to compare the two. It didn't work. Her mind was a total mess.

"What did he do? I've completely lost the ability to determine what is good."

"Maybe you do need a break."

"I wouldn't be surprised if he was at home laughing at this."

"I'm sure he's not."

Buffy ignored Riley. "Urg, why did I trust him?"

Riley stood up suddenly, drawing her attention. "Can you not talk about Spike for five minutes?"

Her eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

"I have an interview in Atlanta tomorrow. I leave late tonight. If I get the job, they want me to start next week."

Buffy found her voice. "You're moving to Georgia?"

"I hadn't made up my mind." Riley sat back down.

"When were you going to tell me about this?"

"Today. I got the interview a few days ago, but I wanted to think about it first. But, I think I'm going to take it."

A small pain hit Buffy. "Why?"

Riley gave her an apologetic look. "This relationship isn't working out."

"What?"

"I feel like you put me last. We never do anything alone." Riley gave her a grim look. "We don't talk, unless it's about Spike or your mom."

A shot of anger hit her. "My mom was sick. I was worried."

"And she got better. You haven't spent the night away from her since." He dragged his hand through his hair. "Can you convince me that I could be the most important thing in your life?"

Buffy didn't say anything. She couldn't drop her worries for him.

"I see," Riley said quietly. "Well, it was nice knowing you."

She watched, stone faced, as he left the Magic Shop. She picked up her guitar and began to play.

The finality of it hit her a half hour later. He was the one she didn't have to worry about, because he'd always be there. She realized that she took him for granted. She almost called him, then, but she realized that she couldn't give him what he needed. She didn't love him.

Her eyes began to well with tears, when her phone rang. Quickly, suppressing her feelings of loss, she answered the phone.

"Buffy?" Dawn sounded as if she was crying. "It's mom."

* * *

TBC - reviews, please. 


	12. Chapter 12

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters.

* * *

A sense of deja vu came over Buffy as she hurried down the hospital corridor. She had already gone through this and hoped her mother didn't need to go through surgery again. All Dawn had said was that the ambulance was taking them to the hospital.

Her sister, with tears on her cheeks, sat in a chair at the end of the hall. She didn't seem to notice Buffy.

"What happened?"

Dawn jumped at her voice and threw her arms around Buffy. "She had a headache. I went to get her some aspirin, but when I got back she was unconscious. I tried to wake her up, but I couldn't."

"She'll be okay." Buffy tried to convince herself, too.

They sat for what seemed like hours. Buffy briefly thought of calling Spike, before shaking that thought away. She was supposed to be mad at him.

A door opened, and a doctor watched them for a second from across the hall.

News, Buffy thought, jumping up.

As he walked towards them with a grave look on his face, Buffy realized something was wrong.

"I'm sorry, we did everything we could. Your mother suffered a cerebral aneurysm." The doctor sounded so far away.

Buffy could faintly hear Dawn crying. She realized that he was helping her sit down, but she could barely feel the chair.

"Is there anybody we could call for you?"

Buffy slowly removed her cell phone from her pocket and looked at it. She needed to call her mother, she thought.

Dawn took the phone from her and searched the phone book. "Could you call Mr. Giles?"

"Of course." He wrote down the number and left.

"Buffy?" Dawn clung to her. "Please say something."

"You went to get her aspirin?" Her voice sounded strange, as if it wasn't from her body. She found herself standing up. "I need to use the restroom."

Shaking, she made her way down the hall. Once she got inside the restroom, she ran to the sink and threw up. She didn't know how long she was in there, leaning against the mirror. The glass was cold against her forehead. Her mother couldn't be gone. It must be a dream. What was she going to do?

Someone knocked on the door, but she didn't move to answer open it. "Buffy?"

She watched as the door opened and Dawn peaked her head in the room. Then, both Dawn and Giles walked over to her. She couldn't move.

"They want to know if we want to see her." Dawn's soft voice whispered in and out of the fog in Buffy's mind.

Giles supported her with his arm, when she nodded. Slowly, they made their way over to the room where her mother laid. The only sound in the room was the muffled beeps of hospital equipment from down the hall. Her mother was so pale, Buffy so numb.

The next week went by in a blur. The day of her mother's funeral was sunny and warm. Buffy shaded her eyes outside and wished for rain. It was too bright and reminded her that she was alone.

She glanced at all the people at the cemetery. They didn't help take the pain away, so she turned away from them. As she moved, a man caught her eye - a man with bleached hair. But, when she turned to get a better look at him, he wasn't there.

Everyone around her seemed to go back to normal after the funeral. Dawn went to school, leaving Buffy alone. Willow, Tara, and Xander stopped by everyday, concerned. She let them in, but when they left, she couldn't remember a thing they said. Giles tried to encourage her to play her guitar, saying that it would make her feel better. She refused to even touch it.

One week after her mother's death, while she sat alone at home, the doorbell rang. She opened the door to a short, middle aged woman.

"Hi, can I come in? My name's Doris Kroger, and I'm from family services."

Buffy's heartbeat increased. Something inside of her told her that this was important, and she forced herself to think clearly. "Come in."

The woman entered the home, looking around. The place had clothing and plates scattered everywhere. "I'm sorry to hear about your mother."

Buffy nodded and cleared a spot on the couch for her to sit. "It's been a rough week."

Doris sat on the couch. "The reason I'm here is that I'm concerned about Dawn. You're twenty-one, right?"

Buffy nodded again.

"I take it your father is out of the picture, and you want to take guardianship of your sister."

"I couldn't get a hold of him." Buffy bit her thumbnail.

"All we want is what is best for Dawn. Her grades have slipped this semester."

Buffy sat down. "Her mother was sick."

"We understand that. She's been skipping classes, though." Doris looked at her clipboard. "Now, you play in a band as your primary source of income?"

"Yes."

Doris frowned and wrote something in her notes. "That's not very steady income, is it? Your gigs vary each week."

"It pays.."

Doris continued, interrupting her. "And they last until very late at night when you have them. Plus, you have practice at night, which also can run late."

Buffy stared at her. "Are you saying I need to quit the band?"

"I think you need to do what is best for Dawn." She stood up. "I'm going to monitor you and Dawn for about a month. I need to see improvement in her grades and that she's attending class again. I would also like to be assured that you can handle the job of being her guardian. I'll see you in a month." With that, she smiled and left.

Buffy sat in shock and closed her eyes. Even though she wasn't playing her guitar now, she didn't want to quit the band. She'd have to get a regular job, but she was still in college.

She pushed her feelings down to the pit of her stomach, because they made her feel guilty. She was slowly resenting Dawn.

* * *

"Buffy, you can't quit!" Willow's eyes widened.

"What are we going to do?" Xander turned away from her.

"I talked to Faith. She agreed to take my place, if that's okay. I got a job at the Double Meat during the day, so I can be there when Dawn is home from school." Buffy looked to the ground, her voice faint.

"What about your classes?" Willow gently touched Buffy's arm.

She gave her a grave smile. "I dropped out. I wasn't doing well this semester, anyway."

Giles removed his glasses and cleaned them. "I really wish you'd reconsider. This band made you happy, and I don't think you need to lose another..."

"I have to do what's best for Dawn!" Buffy snapped at him. Angrily wiping the tears from her eyes, she took a deep breath and pushed her feelings back. "I'm sorry, I just need to take care of my sister."

"We'll play with Faith, but only to keep the band alive so you can come back." Willow gave her a small smile. "Just don't take too long, Faith will probably dump us in a month."

Buffy's heart felt a little lighter. They weren't going to pressure her.

"Thanks."

* * *

TBC 


	13. Chapter 13

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, but I can make them jump. Watch.

* * *

Buffy didn't look forward to talking to Dawn. Even if she didn't need to talk about the problems with social services, Buffy had found it hard to say more than two words to her since their mother died. That needed to change.

Dawn came in the house with a weary look. She dumped her book bag on the couch and walked to the kitchen. Buffy followed her.

"A woman from children's services came by this morning." Buffy stopped in the entrance.

Dawn raised her eyebrows. "What did she want?"

"She said your grades have been slipping, and you'd been skipping school."

Dawn turned away and opened the refrigerator. "Why do you care?" She mumbled.

"I care because it makes me look bad. They might take you away, if they think I can't handle being your guardian." Buffy clenched her fists.

"So, this is about you, then." She raised her chin.

"This is about responsibility. Something you obviously know nothing about." The anger and hurt Buffy had been suppressing the past week threatened to break through.

"I can be responsible! I just haven't felt like going to class." Dawn crossed her arms over her chest.

"If you were responsible, Mom might be alive!" Buffy shouted.

Dawn gaped at her in shock.

Buffy stalked towards her. "Why didn't you call an ambulance when she first got the headache instead of searching for aspirin? She had brain surgery, a headache's not good!"

Dawn's lip trembled, and she fled past Buffy out the kitchen. Reality slapped into place, and Buffy regretted her words. She would have done the same thing with mom, and she was only taking her frustrations out on Dawn.

"Dawn?" She started up the stairs to apologize.

Dawn passed her on the stairs with a duffle bag. "I'm spending the night at Janice's," she said coldly.

"I'm.." Buffy was cut off by the door slamming in her face.

She sat down, numbly. Instead of crying, she pushed her feelings down again and retreated to a place inside her mind. She didn't realize when it got dark, or that the room she was sitting in didn't have any lights on.

"Buffy, are you okay?"

Buffy looked up to see Spike standing in front of her with a look of concern. A spark of desire shot through her. It was the first feeling that wasn't sadness or rage that she felt for what seemed like a long time. She reveled in it.

"Why are you sitting in the dark?" He sat down next to her on the couch. "I'm sorry about your mom. I came to the funeral, but I was afraid to talk to you."

She reached out and traced his face, feeling the hard planes. He placed a hand over hers and held it there. It was warm, and she wanted more. Slowly, she leaned in and brushed his lips with hers.

Suddenly, she pushed him down on the couch, increasing the intensity of the kiss. She wanted to feel anything than what she was feeling five minutes ago.

"Please," she pleaded, softly.

She immediately felt him respond. His lips moved as franticly as hers, as if they were starving. His hands roamed her back and hair, pushing her closer to him. She laid, prone over him and could feel every muscle and how turned on he was.

Her hand moved between them. She needed him inside of her, she needed to forget. After pulling down his zipper, she pulled her skirt up and straddled him. As she guided his hard length towards her own need, he stopped her.

"Wait, wait." He quickly pulled out his wallet and looked in it. Taking out a condom, he ripped it open and put it on.

The minute the condom was one, she lowered herself on him. She never felt anything like it. It was euphoric. Spike's eyes were widened, and she was losing herself in them. Her body vibrated with arousal as she slowly began to move. She increased the pace with Spike thrusting upward. Together, they moved towards their goal. When Buffy climaxed, a wonderful high lapped from her toes to the top of her head. She continued her pace, hoping to reach it again, but Spike came with a cry that touched something inside of her.

Spike slid his hands up her torso, pulling her shirt off. "We're not done, here."

Buffy smiled, needing him to touch her, as much as he wanted to. He pushed a pile of newspapers on the floor to the side and lowered her to the carpet, kissing her the whole time. He played her body like an instrument while removing the rest of her clothes. Her nipples hardened and her flesh pinkened under the ministrations of his hands. When his hands slowly drew her thighs apart, opening her for him, she thought she couldn't take any more. But, then he lowered his head to the heat of her. Her head fell back in ecstasy as he kissed every inch of her flesh. Afterwards, he stayed at her feet, waiting.

She pushed his shirt up with her foot. "You're wearing too many clothes."

The clothes were gone in less than a minute. Sliding up to her, he stopped. "I only had one condom."

Buffy looked at him in confusion for a minute. She was so wrapped up in the pleasure, she forgot about being responsible. "There's a box in my purse." Grabbing her purse from the chair, she handed him the box.

Spike smiled and kissed her while putting a condom on. Pushing her back to the floor, he crawled over her and looked down. "I've wanted you for so long."

Buffy panicked, afraid he was going to share his feelings. She couldn't handle that right now, didn't want to think. She quickly pulled his mouth down to hers to quiet him. He entered her in a quick thrust, and she concentrated on the sensation.

They moved urgently together. Buffy soaked in the feel of his back muscles under her hands moving with each thrust and the feel of this thigh muscles moving under her feet. Mostly, she relished the feel of him moving inside of her and the exhilaration that was quickly building. She could spend the rest of her life on her living room floor as long as he continued to what he was doing. The orgasm took her suddenly and rocked her to a place she'd never been. Spike trembled and cried out in his own, which suprisingly made hers intensify even more.

Her arms and legs fell limp as she needed to rest. Spike looked up at her with a small smile, panting, and with tousled hair. She thought he never looked sexier. The energy that she used up a minute ago was restored. Pushing him to his back, she decided it was time to explore his body.

They continued all night. Buffy wouldn't let him talk, except a few dirty phrases now and then. She didn't think about what this could mean to them or their future. She just didn't think, except how good it felt.

Finally, they both collapsed, exhausted. It was the first time since her mother first became sick, that Buffy slept peacefully.

* * *

Buffy woke with a start. Spike was asleep next to her. She pulled the afghan higher over her chest and shook him.

He smiled lazily and stretched, unashamed of his nakedness. "Good morning, luv."

She threw his jeans at him. "Get dressed. Dawn will be home any minute."

"Why don't we just move to your bedroom. Little sis won't see anything, then." He drew slow circles on her arm.

She snatched her arm away. Why was he making this difficult? "Please, go. This shouldn't have happened."

Clenching his jaw, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them, all she saw was sympathy. She couldn't have that from him. It would only lead to vulnerability, and she'd rather have him mad at her.

"I said go. I don't want you here. Last night was a big mistake."

"Fine." He angrily put on his clothes, and Buffy just watched in silence. She was confused over what had happened and why she felt the way she did.

It wasn't until he slammed the front door that she had a pang of regret. Last night was amazing. Nobody had ever given her that much pleasure, and she couldn't get enough of him. She craved him and could see herself depending on him, and that's what scared her. She searched for her clothes and put them on.

The living room was a mess. Blushing, she realized that most of it was not from their passionate night together. She'd been living in a mess for a week and didn't notice. There were tied condoms on a pile of newspapers which she quickly disposed. No need for Dawn to see that. Once she started cleaning, she finished the room, continuing to the kitchen where there was a week's worth of dishes.

The sound of the door let Buffy know that Dawn was home. Dawn looked surprised when she walked into the kitchen.

"You're cleaning."

"Yeah, I didn't realize how bad this place got." Buffy paused over a dish. "I'm sorry I yelled at you last night."

Dawn didn't say anything, but she started to dry a glass. Buffy took that to mean she was forgiven. The two finished the dishes in silence.

* * *

TBC - Please review. 


	14. Chapter 14

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters.

* * *

A week passed since that night with Spike. She hadn't seen him, but then she really hadn't seen anybody. Everyday was work, Dawn, then sleep. She still didn't play her guitar. The thought only made her think of her mother. It had been a while since she talked to Willow or Xander. The thought hadn't even crossed her mind, so she was surprised to see Willow and Xander at her house when she got back from work.

"How are you doing?" Willow asked, sitting down.

"Okay." Buffy gave her a small smile.

"How's the job?" Xander glanced at her uniform.

"It's okay."

Xander nervously shifted on his feet. "We have our first gig with Faith Friday."

Buffy smiled, but inside she felt a little sad. "How's she working out?"

Willow and Xander exchanged glances. "She's fine. It's not the same, though," Willow said, softly.

Buffy felt a pang of guilt, but she remained quiet.

"Do you think you can came back?" Xander blurted.

"I can't," Buffy said, watching her hands.

"You're going to give up, just like that." Xander crossed the room.

Willow gave him a warning look. "Don't."

He ignored her. "We need you. You're messing with our lives, here."

Buffy bit back the tears that threatened to overtake her. "I don't have a choice," she whispered.

"There's always a choice!" Xander turned away from her.

Willow stood up, then. "Xander, we talked about this."

Xander turned back towards Willow, but Buffy walked past them, ignoring them. It was too much. The pressure from everything caused her to retreat inside her shell.

"I need to take a shower. I'll talk to you later." She barely noticed if they left or how she got upstairs.

She turned the water on cold. The shock of it on her skin brought her back to reality. She missed performing and the feeling afterwards. The only thing that compared was the night she spent with Spike. She found herself smiling a bit as she thought of him. By the time she finished her shower, her mood had lifted.

Dawn looked up from where she sat on the couch. "Xander and Willow said they had to leave."

"Okay." Passing her with a small smile, she headed to the kitchen.

"Want some macaroni and cheese?" Buffy took a box out of the cabinet. Filling a pot with water, she began to cook without waiting for an answer.

Dawn entered the kitchen and watched Buffy. After a minute, she pulled out a couple of bowls and forks from the drawer and set them on the table.

"I'm going out tonight. Do you mind?" Buffy ran her hand through her wet hair.

Dawn smiled. "Did you get back with the band?"

Buffy turned towards the stove and watched the pot. "No. I'm going to see someone."

There was a pause. "Okay," Dawn finally said.

"I don't know how long I'll be." Her voice shook. She needed to see him and hoped he wouldn't turn her away.

After dinner, Buffy was going to see Spike.

* * *

Spike's hand hovered over the phone. Just pick it up and call her, he told himself. Sighing, he ran his hand through his hair instead. He should have known better than to sleep with her. She wasn't in a right mind. Her mother had died a week earlier. But, he'd wanted her for so long, he couldn't restrain himself. Deep down, he believed that she needed it or something else that took her mind off the pain.

When he had arrived at her house, it was completely dark. At first he thought nobody was home. Then, he saw her through the window. She was just sitting there and didn't move until he was right next to her. She hadn't noticed him knocking or opening the door. Because he couldn't stand to see her in that much pain, he continued to kiss and touch her when she practically begged.

The next morning, when she told him to leave, he knew she was still in mourning and wasn't thinking clearly. But, it still pissed him off. He finally left instead of confronting her, because he knew he'd say something that he'd regret.

The doorbell chimed, bringing Spike out of his thoughts. Looking through the peep hole, he was surprised to see Buffy. His heart began to race. She came to him.

Quickly, he opened the door. "Buffy."

"Can I come in?" She gave him a small smile.

He waved his arm towards his apartment. "I missed you."

She stopped, and for a second Spike thought he'd said the wrong thing. Then, she squeezed his arm.

"I missed you, too."

His breath caught. He watched as she looked around the living room. She glanced at the kitchenette in the back, before walking to the small work area in the corner.

She picked up a newspaper clipping that sat on his desk. He knew it was his review of the Scoobies - he was looking at it earlier. She bit her lip as she placed it back down. Her face fell, and she stared at nothing.

Spike would have hidden the column if he knew she was coming over. It was another reminder of what she had lost. He knew she quit the Scoobies, but he wasn't sure why - only that she got some crap job at Double Meat. It didn't make any sense, because she was obviously unhappy about it.

"Do you want to talk?" Spike stepped towards her.

She shook her head, still staring. He wanted to talk, though, especially about the other night.

"Does Riley know about us?"

"Riley's gone." Her voice sounded rough. "We broke up a few weeks ago."

Spike wasn't sure if that happened before or after her mother died, but he was afraid to ask. Either way, the two events occurred right on top of the other. It must have killed her. She closed her eyes as if to control her emotions. He wanted her to cry on his shoulder. At least then she would feel better.

He moved to stand in front of her and gently pushed back her hair from her face. She looked up, and he was lost in her eyes. Her pain was coming off in waves, and the only thing he wanted to do was end that. Bending forward, he lightly brushed his lips against hers. When he swept by her lips again, she captured him in her own searing kiss.

The heat between them intensified rapidly. Gathering her in his arms, he crushed her body flat against his. She was moaning and making other little noises that had driven him crazy the other night. He was so hard for her. Her hand cupped him through his jeans, causing his hard length to jump.

"I want you," she murmured.

All reasons why he shouldn't do this left. The only thing on his mind was getting her to his bedroom. He picked her up, strode over to his room, and kicked in the door.

He thought he'd never get to touch her again. Every movement, moan, and kiss was cherished as he placed her on the bed. She was under him, touching him through his clothes. Every once in a while she would gaze directly in his eye, and his stomach would jump.

She pulled at his shirt, and he helped her remove it. Her fingers lightly traced his chest, softly tickling him. He wanted to go slower this time. The other night, it was a frantic coupling every time, as if they would never touch each other again. This time, Spike had hopes that she would stay around. She came to him.

She begged as he took his time peeling away her clothes, but he kept his steady pace. He brushed his body against hers, enjoying the sensation. Her body responded to his in so many ways, from her moans to her blushed skin to the shivers that overcame her.

He opened the drawer to his nightstand and pulled out a condom. The last thing she needed was to become pregnant. Smiling, she took the condom from him and put it on him.

"I need to go on the pill."

The thought of being inside her naked, almost sent him over the edge. Growling, he attacked her mouth with his.

"Please, do," he gasped.

Staring intently into her eyes, he pushed himself inside her. Even with a condom, it was the best feeling he'd ever experienced. Her mouth was forming a small 'O' as her breathing became harsh. His pace became more frantic, possessing, as he climbed higher towards completion.

His climax came suddenly, and he felt her contract around him. Shouting, he shook through his orgasm. He pushed himself to the side of her so he didn't crush her, and pulled her towards him. She stiffened, and suddenly she was on him again, kissing his face and downward. He laid there, enjoying it and recovering from the recent bliss. She didn't want to be held, but he was becoming aroused again and shoved that worry away.

After many hours of sex, Buffy laid, sprawled, over Spike. Her warm body was making him hard yet again. Happy that she was still there, he begin to kiss her shoulder.

Sitting up, she looked at the clock, worried. "It's four o'clock."

"Stay the night, then."

"I can't. Dawn's by herself, and I wasn't going to stay out this late."

"Call her. She's fifteen, it won't hurt her to stay by herself one night. If she needed you, she would have called your phone."

"What if social services find out?" She slapped her forehead. "I'm being completely irresponsible."

"Buffy," he called, softly, but she was already putting her clothes on. "At least let me drive you home." He grabbed his jeans from the floor.

She nodded and waited for him to finish dressing. He hated to see her go and hated that he needed her to stay. He didn't know what her feelings were for him, except that she lusted for him.

He drove the few blocks to her house. It wasn't a coincidence that his place was so close to hers. He'd been attracted to her since they met.

She sat quietly when he parked in her driveway. His feelings for her came at him at once. He wanted to see her everyday, to eat dinner with her, and talk to her. He wanted to make her laugh, and for her to make him laugh, too. He wanted back her normal, feisty self, but he wanted to be there for her until then.

"I love you." He almost winced the second the words left his mouth.

Buffy gasped, wide eyed. A stressed look crossed her features. She was still in his car, though.

"Please, don't," she whispered. "I can't deal with that right now."

His heart sank, but he was afraid she'd stop seeing him.

"You're not ready for that, I understand." He gulped, swallowing his pride. "I don't expect you to return it."

She smiled a little in gratitude. "Thanks for the ride," she said, getting out of the car.

He slammed his fist in the seat. What he suspected all night was true, and she was probably not even aware of it. She was using him.

* * *

TBC - reviews, please. 


	15. Chapter 15

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, but I'm using them.

* * *

"Well, that was an interesting show last night." Willow sipped her coffee outside the cafe'.

Tara smiled. "Faith sure is different than Buffy. I've never seen Xander that embarrassed."

"Or Anya that angry." Willow chuckled. Her face sombered. "I hope Buffy comes back."

"We have to give her time. It's hard to lose your mother."

Willow squeezed Tara's hand. Tara's mother had died a while back. If it wasn't for Tara's understanding, Willow may have sided with Xander on Buffy.

"Hey, I saw your show last night." A girl wearing an Initiative t-shirt stopped at their table. "You're pretty good."

Willow smiled and pointed to the shirt. "You're a fan?"

The girl shrugged. "I got it from the PR agent."

"PR agent?" Willow raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. A few months ago, he was giving these shirts and twenty dollars out to scream at some Initiative gigs. Maybe you guys should look into it."

Willow glanced at Tara and back to the girl. "Do you know the name of the agent?"

"I think he gave me a card." The girl rummaged through her purse. "Here. You can keep it."

Willow thanked the girl as she left. Pulling out her cell phone, she called the agent. After the call, she turned to Tara.

"The agency was hired by Walsh Incorporated a few months ago to promote the band. They were told last month that they weren't needed anymore."

"Well, that explains the popularity at the beginning."

"I can't believe they are getting away with this. It's one thing to hire a PR agency, but they're cheating. And I think they have something to do with our lack of gigs. Or our former lack of gigs. Did you notice how the places that canceled our shows are now booking us again?"

Tara nodded. "As soon as Buffy quit. Or as soon as we weren't as good."

"I wish I could talk to Buffy about this. We have no chance at winning the Battle of the Bands next month."

"We should get her out of the house."

A glimmer of hope touched Willow. "Yes. She needs a night away to forget her problems. I bet it's been nothing but work and Dawn."

* * *

What started out as a few times a week, quickly brewed to every night. Buffy would leave when Dawn was asleep and visit Spike. She'd return a few hours later and collapse on her bed in exhaustion, but for a few hours, she felt absolute bliss.

She never told anybody what she was doing. In a way, she was ashamed that she was seeing a man purely for sex. She also was afraid of what they'd think because it was Spike, the man they fired.

It was obvious that he cared for her by the way he gently held her and the hurt look on his face when she left. He hadn't had to tell her that he loved her for her to know. He'd been getting quieter, and she knew something bothered him, but she didn't ask. She knew it was her. He didn't like her using him.

She figured that out a while ago, but told herself that it was okay because he had sold her out to Adam. Except she was feeling guilty, anyway. But she couldn't stop going to his apartment every night or offer him more. Life was too unbearable without him.

He stopped giving her a ride home about a week ago. Last night when she got up to leave, Spike turned away from her. He had always watched her go. She found it more painful than his usual quiet expression.

Willow had insisted that she and Dawn come to the Bronze to hang out with them. Buffy didn't really feel like going, but she hadn't spent any time with her friends. There wasn't a band playing, which relieved Buffy. She didn't want another reminder that she gave up playing.

"You've been locked in your house, except for work, too long. You need a break." Willow said over the loud music.

Buffy nodded and lied. "This is fun." She turned back to her drink.

"You up for dancing?" Xander stood up when the DJ started another song.

Dawn jumped up. "Yeah, let's..." She glanced at Buffy and started to sit down.

"Go ahead." Buffy gave her a small smile. Dawn needed some fun in her life, too.

Dawn's face lit up and she practically ran to the dance floor. Anya joined her with Xander, leaving Willow and Tara at the table. Buffy envied the carefree manner in which they danced.

She turned away from the dancing to face Willow and Tara. Spike was standing behind them in the back, which gave her a start. What was he doing here? She turned her attention to Willow without acknowledging him.

She didn't hear what Willow was saying. Her heart was beating a thousand times a minute. She forced herself to pay attention.

"So, professor Mike said he wanted me to present it to the class. Isn't that cool?"

Buffy forced a smile on her face. "Yeah, it is."

"Hello, Buffy."

She stiffened. He was standing right beside her.

"Spike?" Willow asked in confusion.

"What are you doing here? Didn't we fire your sorry ass?" Xander walked up to the table.

Spike raised his eyebrow at Buffy. She turned away from him.

"Talk to you later," he mumbled. Buffy felt him walk away. She wanted to run after him. She wanted to get away from this bar that only held memories of better times.

"Are you okay?" Willow gave her a puzzled look.

Buffy ran her hand through her hair. "I'm fine." She pushed her chair back. "I need to freshen up a bit."

In the restroom, she stared at herself in the mirror. She had circles under her eyes, and she hadn't even attempted to fix herself up for the night. She had only thrown on a pair of jeans and ran a brush through her hair, but she couldn't find the energy to fix it now.

The minute she stepped outside the restroom, she was dragged to a supply closet.

"What are you.."

Spike's eyes blazed as he closed the door behind him. "You never told them about us."

Buffy lifted her chin. "Tell them what? There's nothing between us." She hadn't seen him this angry before, and it reminded her of when they used to argue at practice. She tried to ignore the way her pulse quickened.

Spike stepped in close. His breath was hot on her face. "Then, why do you come to my place every night?" His voice dropped to a husky whisper. "Why do you crave my touch, even now?"

She gasped as he ran his hand down her arm. He pulled her towards him, until she was flush against him. Her toes curled. When he began to kiss her neck, her knees became weak.

Suddenly, he spun her around so she was facing away from him and began to unbutton her jeans. "You know what I think?" He pushed her jeans and panties to her ankles, reaching between her legs to caress the juncture of her thighs. "I think you like keeping this from them because it turns you on."

Buffy was lost to the sensation he brought to her. That they were in a public place and could be caught any minute, did arouse her. But, it was the fact that she was with him, though, that really had her hot. She didn't argue with him even though the truth was she was afraid. She didn't know how her friends would react. They wouldn't approve of her using sex to feel alive.

His fingers played their magic, bringing her closer and closer. It wasn't enough, though. As if he could read her mind, she was being pushed forward, and then he was inside her, completing what was missing.

"You like this?" He gasped. "Is this what you want?"

She moaned and pushed back against him. He wasn't using a condom, and she dwelled in the new feeling. Since she'd been on the pill long enough, she was going to scrap them later that night. He just jumped the gun a few hours.

"Tell me.. tell me you need this. That you need me." His hands steadied her hips as he pushed inside of her again.

Eyes closed, she raised her head. "Make me feel...just make me feel."

She felt him pause a second before his fingers gripped her tight as he drove into her. The almost violence of it quickly brought her to climax. Crying out, she trembled around him. His arm slipped to her waist to hold her to him as he shuddered in his release.

"Buffy." He held on to her tightly, resting his chin on her shoulder.

She touched the side of his face, but remained silent, stunned by what they had just done. For a moment, she felt something beyond lust for him. She recognized the feeling and it scared her.

"I should get back." She refused to look at him as she cleaned herself and pulled up her pants.

Before she opened the door, she paused. She wanted to tell him that he meant something to her. Reality began to come back to her, though. She had to take care of her sister and couldn't be in the band anymore. Her mother was dead. The emotions she had just felt with Spike were fading away, leaving her numb again. She walked out the door.

When she got to the table, she didn't know how long she had been gone.

"Are you okay? You were gone a long time." Dawn touched her hand.

Buffy shook her head. "I'm not feeling well." She looked up into Dawn's eyes. "I want to go home."

"Okay." Dawn nodded. Willow offered them a ride home, but Buffy barely remembered it.

The only thought that was clear in her mind made her feel even worse. She was using a man she loved.

* * *

TBC - Thanks for the reviews. 


	16. Chapter 16

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I've "borrowed" them from Joss Whedon and company.

* * *

The aftermath was both the best and worst part of the affair. Spike laid completely relaxed and spent, and he knew Buffy was the same. Sex had never been as good as it was with her. On the other hand, Buffy refused to touch him, and any minute she was going to leave.

When she had come over, she didn't mention the incident in the Bronze, nor had he. He knew he behaved badly, even if she hadn't told her friends about them. On the way home that night, he realized she probably didn't talk to them about anything.

Buffy turned to him, laying on her side. "I'm suddenly very hungry. Let's get some pizza."

Spike blinked in surprise. He couldn't remember a time when he ever saw her eat. Still, he wasn't about to pass up an opportunity for her to stay, so he smiled at her.

"Hungry, are we? You did work up quite an appetite." This was different - her staying. It almost gave him hope that she cared for him. He watched as she ordered a large pepperoni. Her tongue kept touching her upper lip as she listened to the person on the other end. Tentatively, he stroked her arm, but she didn't pull away.

"You know, one of us is going to have to get dressed to get the pizza," he murmured.

She gave him a big smile. "I guess flashing the pizza guy wouldn't be proper."

Growling, he trapped her to the bed with his arms. "You're not flashing anyone."

She reached up and kissed him, sending shivers down his spine. Panting, she pulled away. "We have thirty minutes before the pizza comes."

"We'll have to be quick, then." He pushed the covers that separated them off the bed.

Buffy reached down and gently tugged on his softened length. "Well, this won't do."

"Hey, give a man a break. We just ended a two hour session." Spike stroked the side of her face, smiling.

"Well, let's see what I can do about that." She pushed him down on the bed and kneeled at his side. Giving him a wicked smile, she bent over and took him in her mouth.

Gasping, Spike felt himself respond. The sight of her bent over, bottom in the air, had him hard as steel. He squeezed her firm behind before sliding his hand down to her breast. His thumb brushed against her nipple in time to her ministrations.

After a few minutes she suddenly released him and sat up. "That's better." Smiling, she eyed him from head to toe. "What to do, what to do."

"I know what you can do." He needed her to touch him again.

"I'm trying to of a position we haven't tried." She tapped her chin. "We've had me on top, on bottom. We did it standing up the other night. We've done doggie style many, many times."

"Come here."

She gave him a slow smile before pretending to ignore him. "I don't think we've tried it in a chair."

"Come here, Buffy."

"You have such nice chairs, though. I wouldn't want to mess.."

Buffy shrieked as Spike tackled her to the bed. Holding her arms above her head, he quickly thrust into her.

"Oh!" Her playful smile slowly gave way to a look of absolute bliss. "I.. like.. this position."

Spike had to pause for a minute to control himself. Her smile had melted his anger at her, and he wasn't sure he would last long without that emotion. She felt perfect.

Slowly, he moved. Keeping her arms above her with one hand, he lightly skimmed down her side with the other. She rubbed his leg with her heel, letting him know she wanted more. His pace increased, and he skimmed her side again. They continued like that, building up in pleasure until she trembled around him. He toppled over quickly afterwards.

As they came down from their high, the doorbell rang. "Good timing," Buffy chuckled.

A few minutes later, Spike entered the bedroom with the pizza and a few sodas. Buffy greeted him with another smile. He was still recovering from their latest sexual round. This time had been playful. Before, it had always been intense and almost mournful. He liked this side to her.

She ate the pizza as if she'd been starving. He wondered when she ate last, but the sight made him smile.

"Careful, I don't want pizza sauce on my sheets."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "You have to wash them anyway. They're covered with other fluids."

"True." Spike sat on the bed and grabbed himself a piece before she ate the whole thing. She seemed in such a good mood that he thought that he could talk to her. "The Battle of the Bands is in a month. Have you thought of rejoining the Scoobies?"

Buffy froze with a half eaten piece in her hand. Dropping it back into the box, she immediately closed up.

"I can't. It's not an appropriate job." Her voice had dropped to almost a whisper.

"But, it's a job you enjoy," he said gently.

Glancing at the clock, she started to hurriedly get dressed. "I have to get back. I shouldn't have stayed so long."

He watched as the despair quickly replace the light-hearted expression she'd carried only moments earlier. She was still miserable except for the moments in his arms. Her wild moods and trying to keep up with them were driving him mad.

Spike reached out a hand to stop her. "Buffy, you need to start doing things you enjoy again. If you can't do that, maybe you need to see someone."

"I don't need a shrink." She stepped past him, buttoning up her shirt.

"Then don't see one. But, you're not coming back here."

Her eyes widened as she looked at him.

"I can't deal with this anymore. Every night, I hope you'll talk to me. I know you're hurting, and I want to help, but you won't let me."

"I don't need your help," she murmured.

His heart squeezed in pain, and his jaw clenched. "Just go."

She looked at him in confusion and hurt, but didn't move. He opened the bedroom door in frustration.

"Go!"

She paused before leaving. When he heard the front door open and close, he threw the pizza at his bedroom door. A tear angrily fell down his cheek as he sat on his bed. Why wouldn't she let him help her? Thoughts of her and her obvious pain consumed him. It was hours before he was able to sleep.

* * *

Work had been increasingly frustrating. It started when Buffy arrived at nine, only to be yelled at by her manager because she was supposed to have been there at eight-thirty. She had tried to explain that she just got her schedule mixed up, but that only got her a lecture on responsibility. Then, she was yelled at by no less than three customers, and she couldn't take her break until after two. They had been swamped.

The stunned feeling from being kicked her out of Spike's apartment only accumulated her frustration. She wanted Spike to help her, but at the same time, it scared her. It would only lead to dependency which would then lead to her being hurt. The same thing would happen if she allowed herself to love him.

Hoping that Dawn was already home and cooking dinner, she entered her house. Nobody was home. The phone began to ring, jarring her.

"Hello?"

"Buffy? I'm with Janice. We have a huge test tomorrow, so I'm at her place studying. I'll be home by nine. Is that okay?" Her sister sounded so normal.

"That's fine." Buffy wearily hung up the phone.

After a shower and change of clothes, Buffy still didn't feel like making dinner. She thought of ordering a pizza, but that only made her think of Spike. Shaking her head, she thought that maybe she could change his mind. He wanted her, even claimed to love her. If she went to him, he wouldn't turn her down, would he?

The thought cheered her up enough to make herself dinner before going. Munching on the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, she walked down the street to Spike's. Butterflies danced in her stomach in thought of seeing him. By the time she reached his apartment, she was fidgeting in anticipation. Wiping the remaining crumbs on her jeans, she rang the doorbell. After a long moment Spike opened the door.

"Why are you here?" He didn't even try to welcome her.

Taken back, Buffy tried to smile. "I was lonely - thought I could come over."

Spike closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. Taking a deep breath, he looked at her again. "No. I can't deal with this anymore."

"Please, Spike." She paused to think of a way to change his mind. "I know I hurt you."

"You've been using me."

She nodded meekly. "It's just so hard."

His eyes softened. "I know, but I can't help you. Go spend some time with your other friends or your sister." He closed the door before she could say anything else.

She didn't fully realize what had happened. After starring at the door for a few minutes, she slowly turned and headed back home. He didn't let her in. Deep down, she had known he wouldn't let her in again. She hurt so much lately, she was afraid of making it worse. In ignoring her love for him, she ended up doing just that. By the time she got home, she felt dead inside.

* * *

TBC - review please 


	17. Chapter 17

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. The plot's mine, but even that is based on Joss Whedon and company's lovely creation.

* * *

Dawn come home from school to a quiet house. She dropped her bookbag on the desk and glanced at the phone. A flashing red light greeted her. It nagged at her that something was wrong. Shaking her head, she pressed the button on the machine.

"Buffy, it's Pam from the Double Meat. It's ten o'clock, you were supposed to be here an hour ago. You need to get in here as soon as possible."

"Buffy, it's Pam again. It's eleven-thirty. If you're sick or something, please call us."

"Buffy? It's Pam. We're calling someone else in. We're swamped. Please call us."

Is she sick? Dawn hurried upstairs to Buffy's room. She was lying on her bed wearing the clothes she wore yesterday. Dawn hesitantly entered the room.

"You missed work. Are you okay?"

Buffy continued to stare at the ceiling. "I.."

Dawn waited for her to finish, but Buffy remained silent. She sat down next to her sister and patted her on the arm. "Are you okay?" She asked again.

Buffy's eyebrows furrowed, as if she was thinking. Her lower lip began to move, but nothing came out. Dawn's heart felt heavy with worry. She gave her a hug and wasn't surprised when Buffy didn't respond. Slowly, she slipped away from her and went into the other room and dialed Mr. Giles.

"Hi. Can you come over? I'm worried about Buffy."

"What's wrong?"

Dawn glanced at her sister's room from the doorway. "I don't think she's moved from her bed all day, and she won't talk to me."

There was a pause on the phone. "I'll be right over."

Five minutes later, Giles came in the house with a worried expression. After glancing at Buffy, he came downstairs to talk to Dawn alone.

"How long has she been like this?"

Dawn shrugged. "When I come home last night, she was in her room. I didn't think anything of it, because she's been tired. She'd been going out every night when she thought I was asleep."

Giles sat down on the couch with a thump. "Do you think something happened last night?"

"I don't know. She hasn't talked to me in a while, except to ask about dinner or my homework. She never mentions anything else." Dawn shook her head. "And if I bring up mom, she leaves the room."

Giles widened his eyes and went back upstairs with Dawn following. Buffy was still lying in the same spot on her bed. He sat down next to her.

"Buffy, I think you need to see someone. Have you been holding everything in?"

She turned to him and snorted. "I don't need a shrink," she said, mumbling something under her breath.

"I don't necessarily mean a psychiatrist. There are groups that deal with grieving. I think it would help a lot if you joined one."

Buffy shook her head. Dawn sat down on the other side of her and took her hand.

"Buffy, I think I could use group therapy, but I don't want to go alone. Could you go with me?"

Buffy closed her eyes for a moment. "Okay. I'll go for you."

Dawn smiled a little, when Giles mouthed "Thank you." to her. She hoped this would work.

* * *

"I keep thinking I'll see her running down the stairs every morning." The woman traced a medium sized scar on her face. Many others in the circle nodded in understanding. "She'd be ten today."

Buffy hadn't said anything the whole session, but just being there seemed to help. She wasn't alone. Life was trying for other people, too. Glancing at Dawn, she realized that she could have known this much sooner if she only had talked to her sister. Dawn noticed her looking and turned to the group.

"I keep thinking I'll see my mom making breakfast." Dawn looked down at her hands.

"It helps to stay busy." Another woman, this one older, said with a small smile. Buffy remembered that this one lost her husband years ago.

"But, not so busy you don't do anything to enjoy life." A man, who looked to be in his late thirties interrupted. "I became so engrossed in my work when Ginny died, that I was ignoring our children. I had also stopped fishing, because I thought it was wrong to do something I liked when..when she was gone. It seemed like it would disrespect her. I discovered, though, that Ginny wouldn't have wanted me to give up what I loved. My kids and fishing are what makes me happy."

"I had to give up the band. They were going to take Dawn away." Buffy spoke softly.

"What did you play?" Debbie, the group therapist turned her attention to Buffy.

"Guitar. I was the lead singer."

Debbie gave her a small smile. "Do you still play your guitar at home?"

Buffy shook her head. "I haven't wanted to play it. It's too painful."

"Why?"

Buffy looked at the expected looks on everyone's faces. "It reminded me of a time before I lost everything."

Debbie nodded and glanced at her clipboard. "Is there anything else you enjoy doing? Someone you enjoy being around?"

Spike, Buffy thought, but she remained silent.

Debbie continued. "Sometimes it's good to do something that takes your mind off of things, as long as it's healthy."

Buffy was hit with guilt. Using Spike wasn't healthy for either of them. She took advantage of his love for her. No wonder he didn't want to see her anymore.

"I was seeing a man every night and sleeping with him. I was using him." She ignored the surprised expression on Dawn's face. "A few days ago, he told me to stop coming over. It hurt him too much, because he loved me."

"Were you seeing anybody else?" Debbie asked.

Buffy shook her head. "No. Just him."

"She had just broken up with her old boyfriend before mom died." Dawn interrupted Buffy's thoughts.

Debbie cocked her head to the side and studied Buffy. "Did you get a chance to mourn your boyfriend?"

Buffy bit her upper lip. "No. Dawn called me from the hospital right after Riley left."

"What about afterwards?"

Buffy felt tears form in her eyes, but she pushed them back. "I couldn't believe that my mom had died, and I didn't think that much about Riley. Now, I have to stay strong for Dawn."

"You don't need to stay strong for me."

"But, I do," she said quietly. Buffy didn't want to cry in front of all these people, so she didn't say anything else.

After a few minutes, Debbie glanced at the clock. "It's two. I'll see everybody next week?"

Buffy stood up with everyone else and headed out of the room. Dawn followed.

"Who was it?"

Buffy didn't answer and made her way to the parking lot.

"Buffy. Was it Xander?"

Buffy whipped her head around to look at Dawn. "No. It wasn't Giles either."

"Then, who?" Dawn ran up and stopped in front of her.

"Nobody you know."

"Spike?"

Buffy walked past her and stopped at their SUV.

"Yes." Fumbling with her keys, she finally got the door open.

Inside the car, Dawn fastened her seatbelt. "I was wondering where you went every night."

"I thought you were asleep."

"I haven't slept well since mom died."

Oh. She didn't realize that Dawn was having problems sleeping. Buffy had been so occupied with her own problems, that she hadn't noticed Dawn's.

Dawn smiled a little. "This therapy should help. I already feel better."

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "That's because you heard juicy details of my sex life."

Dawn laughed softly. "You call that details?"

"Until you're thirty, yes."

* * *

TBC - review please 


	18. Chapter 18

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, yo! They belong to Joss and company.

* * *

As Spike walked up Buffy's driveway, he told himself that he was just going to check on her. He hadn't seen her for four days and was sick with worry. If she was angry at him, then it was good that she was angry. If she didn't answer the door because she was staring into space again, then he was going to call her friends.

He hoped he'd done the right thing by making her go home the other night. But, maybe sex with him is what she needs. A twinge hit his heart. She had been opening up a little. Maybe if he had kept having sex with her, she would eventually open up completely. He shook his head. It would have killed him before that happened.

Her little sister answered the door with a surprised look on her face. "Spike!"

"Hi. Is Buffy home?" He looked past Dawn but couldn't see Buffy inside.

She smiled. "She's upstairs practicing her guitar. Isn't that great? She suddenly started to play again this morning."

Spike's heart swelled with joy. If Buffy was playing, then she must be getting her life back in order. "Did something happen?"

"We've been going to this grieving therapy. Actually, we've only gone once, but Buffy opened up about a lot of stuff."

Spike swore he saw a smirk flash on her face before she waved him inside. "That's good. She needed to talk about stuff. Did she cry?"

A solemn expression washed over her. "No. She doesn't like crying in front of people."

Spike nodded. "Can I see her?"

"Come upstairs."

As Spike followed Dawn upstairs, Buffy's guitar became louder. Right before they got to her door, the music stopped. Dawn knocked and opened the door slightly.

"Buffy?"

"Hey, Dawn. I'm not as rusty as I.." Buffy saw him in the door. "Spike."

Spike tentatively stepped into the room. "I just came by to see how you're doing."

Buffy nodded slightly.

"I'm so happy you're playing again," he continued.

Buffy glanced at the guitar in her hands, but didn't say anything.

Dawn's brow furrowed. "I thought it'd be okay to let him in." She turned to Spike. "Maybe you should.."

Buffy's lip began to tremble. Suddenly, she looked up at Spike, her eyes shimmering with tears. "Oh, Spike," she sobbed.

It hurt to see her depressed, but crying broke something inside of him. Swooping down, he gently took the guitar that was dangling from her hands and laid it on the bed. She leaned towards him, and he gathered her in his arms. Dawn gave him a small smile and left the room. Buffy's sobs became louder and almost violent. Everything she had held in came out with that cry. He just rubbed her back and held her for a long time.

After a while, the tears died down. Buffy looked up and gently pushed him away from her. "I don't want to use you anymore."

"I'm just offering a shoulder to cry on." He reached out and took her hand. "I'm proud of you."

Buffy wiped the tears from her face. "I was thinking of rejoining the Scoobies. The Battle of the Bands is coming up."

"In about three weeks." He reached out and wiped a tear on her cheek that she missed. "There's still enough time."

She clasped his hand. "Can you help us? We're going to need a lot of help."

He smiled and wrapped his fingers around hers. "Of course."

She bit her lip. "That bar in the desert really was a mistake. You were trying to help us."

Spike looked away. "I hadn't been there in over a year. I should have checked the place out, first."

Buffy paused. "It doesn't matter now. Do you really think we'll have enough time to get ready for the contest?"

Spike smile, relieved she was changing the subject. "We may need to practice in the day, too. Will you be able to get off work?"

"I'm quitting that horrible job," she sniffed.. "I made enough money with the Scoobies to support Dawn. Children's services will just have to deal with it."

Laughing, Spike looked into her eyes. His stomach jumped when she laughed back.

"You wouldn't be the first parent with a night job."

That night, the Scoobies had their first practice with Buffy since her mom died. Faith had happily agreed to step aside, saying that she was getting bored anyway. The rest didn't seem to question why Buffy had asked Spike to help them. She just told them that they needed all the help they could get.

"I'm not letting Adam win this," she had said with her hands on her hips.

Spike went straight into business. With his no nonsense attitude, practice was just like before, except that this time Buffy didn't question him. She trusted him now. For that, he was grateful. He wasn't being mean, just truthful. He did, however, cut any comments that he used to say just to get her goat.

The Scoobies weren't that bad considering they hadn't played together in a while. There really was something that just clicked among them. This gave him new hope they could win.

After the rest of the band left that night, she stayed behind to practice. He sat in a chair nearby and just watched her. Her eyes held a glimmer of her former happiness as she smoothed out her neglected skills. After about ten minutes she turned to him with a frown.

"You enjoyed trashing bands."

Spike raised an eyebrow at her. "I did."

"You also took pleasure in causing them to break up."

Spike paused. She didn't seem angry, just curious, so he nodded.

"Why?"

He sighed. "My father was never home when I was growing up. Even when my mother was sick, he was too busy with his band. When I toured with him, I criticized them, hoping they would break up. Instead, he actually listened to me."

"When they had their rebound." Her voice was quiet.

"Yeah. I was angry that they were going strong again. That resentment towards my father turned into one towards any band. I took my anger at my father out in those reviews. I figured if they couldn't handle it, then they wouldn't make it in the business anyway.

"Anyway, that was how it was at the beginning. Later, I realized that it was more than revenge on my father. It was something I was really good at, and I enjoyed it. My fans still email me."

Buffy lifted her eyebrow. "So, you later enjoyed writing those harsh words for the fun of it?"

Spike grinned.

After three weeks, practice ended after exhausting eight hour days. It was worth it, though. They were at a level beyond when Buffy had quit.

During a break, Willow walked up to Spike and smiled. "We sound so much better now. It helps we practice all day because school is out." Her expression turned serious. "I don't know if you had anything to do with Buffy coming back, but if you did, thank you."

"Giles and Dawn were the ones that got her to therapy. I just agreed to help you guys." He looked to the ground. He may have had a part because she finally cried because of him, but didn't mention that to Willow. Spike knew that Buffy didn't want her friends to know about their past relationship. She was still ashamed of using him.

Willow contemplated him before finally nodding. She walked back over to the rest of the group where Buffy excitedly talked with them. While it pained Spike that Buffy had never been that happy with him, he was glad to see her so happy. She glowed.

And that made him happy.

* * *

TBC - Thanks for the reviews 


	19. Chapter 19

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. ReneesFic isn't a penname for Joss Whedon.

* * *

Humming, Buffy sprawled out on the couch eating cookie dough-fudge mint ice cream and watching television. The Scoobies had all agreed to take the day off so they could rest before the contest the next day. She was surprised she still had her voice.

The doorbell rang, forcing her to leave her comfy leisure. Peeking through the window, she saw Doris at the door. Crap. She'd completely forgotten that she was coming by. Turning off the television, she set the ice cream on the coffee table.

Forcing on a smile, she opened the door. "Ms. Kroger, it's so nice to see you again! How are you?"

Doris smiled and entered the house when Buffy waved her in. "I'm fine." She looked around the living room and marked something on her clipboard.

Buffy walked over to the counter top where they kept their mail and picked up a letter. "I just got Dawn's report card. Her grades picked back up. Mostly Bs."

Doris took the report card from Buffy and looked at it. "Yes, I know. She's really improved." She made another comment on her clipboard. "Last time we talked, you had gotten a job at the Double Meat Palace. How's that working for you?"

Buffy's heartbeat increased. This was what she was afraid of. "Actually, I quit. I'm back with the band."

Doris raised her eyebrow.

She continued. "I'm a lot happier now, and a happier Buffy means a happier Dawn. I still spend time with her. She even comes to watch us practice sometimes." She laughed nervously.

Doris began to write more in her clipboard, but Buffy stopped her.

"Look, I make more with the band than flipping burgers. And I'm not the first parent to work a night job," she said, using Spike's words. "Dawn is doing great under my care. I do look out for her best interests."

Doris gave her a small smile. "You're doing fine."

Buffy looked at her in surprise. "I am?"

"Dawn's grades are up and she hasn't been skipping class. She has a roof over her head and all other necessities taken care of. I haven't seen any evidence of drugs or alcohol abuse."

Stunned, Buffy stepped back. "So, it didn't matter what my job was, as long as I was taking care of Dawn properly?"

"As long as it's legal and doesn't pose any harm to the child." She glanced at her clipboard. "We like parents to think about what they do and how it could affect their child. You seem to have everything under control."

Buffy strained to keep the smile on her face. She didn't have to quit the band after all. All those weeks of working in a greasy pit were for nothing.

"So, unless we see a big change in Dawn's behavior, this is probably the last time you'll see me." Doris held out her hand, and Buffy shook it.

The minute Doris's car left, Buffy screamed.

* * *

Buffy scanned the crowd at the Bronze, watching their reactions to the band currently playing. She squeezed her water bottle as she turned towards the stage. The band wasn't bad, but she knew the Scoobies were better. She was up next and a nervous wreck. This was the first time she played in front of an audience since her mother died. It was also the most important show of her life, so far.

Spike walked up to her, which, strangely had a calming effect. Usually, being around him made her a bit nervous. Her love for him had never faded, instead grew as she stopped pulling herself away. She never told him, though. Her life needed to get back in order, first. Her therapist said she needed to take things one day at a time. Buffy also waited for a sign from Spike that he wanted to start up again. It never came.

"I haven't seen a band as good as yours yet." Spike gave her a small smile.

"Well, the Initiative is up after us. They seemed to have saved the best for last."

Spike snorted. "They saved the best for second to last."

Buffy's heartbeat quickened. It was nice to hear Spike joke. She'd missed him. Of course, she'd seen him during practice, but that was work. The last time she talked to him about anything besides the band was three weeks ago after their first practice.

Spike's expression softened. "I've missed you."

Buffy started to respond when Giles came running up to them. "You're on."

She glanced at Spike and gave him a smile before jogging to the stage. He missed her. The energy of the crowd penetrated her, taking the happiness from seeing Spike and pushing it to a whole new level. She brimmed with excitement. He missed her.

As she ran on stage, she could see so many people she knew out in the crowd. Faith, sitting between two men, gave her a thumbs up. Anya was sitting with Giles at the table with Spike. Dawn was at a different table nearby with a group of her friends. So many faces she couldn't put a name on, but recognized from various gigs, sat and cheered.

The judges sat at a table near the front. They were the only ones who didn't cheer, but remaining stoic. Buffy told herself not to concentrate on them, or she would just bum herself out. She found it easy to focus on the rest of the audience, fortunately. With so many fans yelling, she knew they were a favorite.

Turning to give her band a huge grin, she started the set in top form. They only had three songs to play, and Buffy seeped with energy. Now, the familiar high took over, spreading from Buffy to her band and to the audience.

"It doesn't take much to get me going."

They were on fire. All their hard work from the last three weeks shone through. Buffy scanned the audience and saw Maggie Walsh glaring at her with narrowed eyes. Adam pouted next to her. Buffy's grin grew even bigger. She'll show those cheaters what a real band could do. As she sang her last note and played the final cords, Spike watched her with a huge smile of his own. When the crowd cheered at the end, Buffy's heartbeat exploded, and not just from the excitement from playing. She realized that Spike still loved her.

Willow, Tara, and Xander engulfed her in hugs. Giles, Spike, Anya, and some employees from the Bronze quickly moved their equipment off stage. The minute she got off the stage, it had half of the Initiative's equipment already setup. It was surreal.

She saw Spike talking to one of the judges and then step back. The judge turned to the other judges and spoke among themselves. Two of them stood up and approached the Initiative while they were coming on stage.

"We need to inspect your equipment," one of them said.

"Why?" Maggie Walsh fumed. "You didn't check the other bands'."

The two judges exchanged glances. "We've heard some concerns about possible cheating."

"That's outrageous!" Maggie glared at Spike, before turning to the judges with a raised eyebrow. "Go ahead. We've nothing to hide."

The judges inspected the equipment and tested the microphones. Satisfied, they indicated for the band to continue setting up.

Buffy shook her head. They have it hidden well, she thought.

She looked for Spike, and saw he wasn't next to the judges' table. Puzzled, she looked across the room and found him talking to Faith. Raising her eyebrow, Buffy stepped closer to them. Faith gave Spike a slow, devilish smile. The two of them stood up and walked to the back of the club.

Buffy was stunned. What was he doing with Faith? He said something in Faith's ear and walked away. Faith waited in the back. The announcer introduced the Initiative, distracting Buffy.

While they were performing, Buffy turned back to Faith. Something was up. Buffy assumed Spike would return to Faith, because she was waiting for something. A pain hit Buffy's heart, but she lifted her chin. If Spike was interested in Faith, Buffy only had herself to blame, she told herself.

The beautiful voice from the Initiative carried across the the club, but Buffy only watched Faith. Faith began to move slowly in time to the music, staring at the stage.

Suddenly, Faith lifted her shirt, displaying her breasts to the band. Before anybody else noticed, she lowered her shirt and walked away. Confused, Buffy looked at the stage. Adam stood, gaping at where Faith had stood. The voice however, was still singing. The crowd began to murmur. Adam seemed to snap out of it and grabbed the microphone and opened his mouth.

The crowd became louder, though. Nobody was fooled. The judges shook their heads. One of them picked up the piece of paper he was writing on and ripped it in half. Adam, still clutching the microphone, wildly looked from the judges, to his mother, to the rest of the crowd. Finally, he threw down the microphone and ran over, fist raised, to the man at the keyboard.  
"You idiot!"

The man raised his arms to defend himself, and the rest of the band got in the way before Adam could hit him. His keyboard and the voice continued, a stark contrast without the other instruments. Adam started to push them angrily. A bouncer grabbed him by the back of the neck and dragged him out of the club, Maggie Walsh running after them.

It was a while before the crowd calmed down. Buffy noticed Spike in the back of the club with a huge grin. Smiling to herself, she made her way to him.

"Did you get Faith to do that?"

Spike raised his eyebrow. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said with feigned innocence. Then, he gave her a slow grin.

"I'm sure you owe her one, now."

"Jealous?"

Buffy reached up and kissed him softly. "You did this for me."

He pulled away, surprised, before giving her a half grin. "How do you know I didn't do it for revenge?"

She curled her fingers through his hair. "You did it for me, and I'm not jealous."

"Whatever you say." He lowered his mouth on hers. It was soft and slow, bringing a sweet completion to her heart.

Her mind was fuzzy when she finally pulled away. Her friends were looking at them in amusement. Grabbing Spike's hand, she turned to them with her chin up. Spike squeezed her hand, sending sparks through her body.

Willow raised her eyebrow. "How long has this been going on?"

Buffy looked from her to the rest of the smiling Scoobies and leaned into Spike. "We just discovered a few things."

"The judges have a winner." Their conversation was interrupted by the announcer. "I would like to introduce Wesley Wyndham-Price, executive for Jeram records and one of our judges."

The crowd cheered as a dark haired young man stepped to the microphone. Straightening his glasses, he leaned into the microphone. "Hello. Well, it looks like that last group has been disqualified. So, I bring great pleasure to announce the winner of tonight's contest."

Buffy held her breath.

"For five thousand dollars, the winner is the Scoobies!"

"Yes!" Buffy jumped and was soon joined by the rest of the band and Dawn.

Buffy, Willow, Tara, and Xander made their way on stage. Wesley handed them a plaque and check. Buffy walked up to the mike.

"Thank you. This means so much to all of us." She, then, stared intently at Spike, who gave her a small smile back. Things were going to be okay.

* * *

TBC - review please 


	20. Chapter 20

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, and I most likely never will.

* * *

After dropping Dawn off at home, Spike drove Buffy to his apartment. Willow's question at the Bronze didn't have a simple answer. Yes, there had been something between them for a few months. However, it now felt like a brand new relationship. Unlike before, it was no longer about use, pity, or secrets. This time they both knew there were feelings on both sides.

As he pulled into the parking spot outside his door, he glanced at the woman who changed his life. His column used to be the only thing he found worthwhile. He used to scoff at things that now brought joy. Helping the Scoobies win the contest had been one of his proudest moments. Bringing down the Initiative had been much more than revenge. It was for justice. And he felt a pure love for someone, when he used to only feel lust.

She had been quiet on the ride to his place. His nerves tingled, even though they were past playing games. He didn't know what the future would bring. He didn't even know if she loved him, too. What he did know was that he didn't want to lose her. Taking the keys out of the ignition, he decided to let her tell him on her own time.

Buffy held his arm, keeping him in the car. "I have to tell you something."

His stomach jumped. Her eyes refused to meet his, and a feeling of dread came over him. Was she going to tell him that this was a mistake? Was that why she hadn't said anything? He nodded for her to continue.

"I used you before, and I'm sorry." She looked at her hands on her lap. "But I want you to know that there were times when I was almost happy. I didn't feel like I was using you, then."

Spike gave a soft laugh. "I felt bad for taking advantage of you in your state."

She looked at him and shook her head. "No, I'm the one that took advantage of you. I needed to feel something, and you were there." A tear fell down her check, and she looked away. "And you loved me."

He stoked the side of her face. He wanted to tell her that he still loved her, but he was unsure on how she'd react.

"My mother was crushed when my father left. She loved him so much." She turned her green eyes to him. "I swore I wouldn't let a man do that to me, so I always kept my distance. It didn't stop me from getting hurt, though. First, Riley left, and then I hurt you."

He cupped her cheek. "Some people live in hardened shells so nothing can get to them. You're better than that. You care too much, and it's what I like about you."

Another tear fell as she looked away. "I hurt you so much. Even after I realized I.."

Spike stroked her cheek, coaxing her eyes back to his. "Realized what?" He asked softly.

"That I love you," she whispered.

His breath caught as joy sprang from the center of his heart. He couldn't help but smile. "Oh, Buffy, luv, that's..I love you, too."

Her bottom lip trembled as she smiled, then laughed. Before Spike could say another word, Buffy was in his lap kissing him. "I can't believe I almost lost you."

"I'm not going anywhere," he murmured against her mouth.

She looked up at him with a smile that left him breathless. "Can we order a pizza?"

Laughing, he chased her inside. She ran around the kitchen table, but he caught her from he other side. His laughter died as he gazed at her. Her hair fell around her face, bringing a softness that accentuated her smile. Did she know how beautiful she was? He leaned in slowly to capture her lips. A warmth trickled down his body at the feel of her careful response.

"That was.." She trailed off, staring into his eyes.

"Amazing?"

She stroked the side of his face and smiled. "Yeah."

She leaned up to kiss him again, this time a little bit more strongly, but still not with the desperation they used to share. Her hands slowly roamed his body, as if touching him for the first time. Maybe to her it was the first time she really touched him.

Grabbing her by the waist, he lifted her and strode to his bedroom, pizza forgotten. She broke the kiss to look at the bed with wide eyes.

"Do you want this?" He asked carefully.

She smiled again and peppered his face with soft kisses. "Yes. I just didn't realize you carried me in here."

"Under a spell, huh?"

She stood in front of him and nodded in all seriousness. "You have me under one."

Delicate, yet strong fingers clasped his own as she led him to the bed. With a slight smile, she brought her hands up to cradle his face. The kiss that followed promised more.

His hands shook as he pulled off her shirt while she concentrated on his own. When she finished, sparkling, green eyes found his. Her love, so evident in them, brought a gasp from his lips. He lowered her on the sheets, the need to take their time no longer an importance.

He grazed his mouth over a satin covered nipple, while expert hands undid the clasp behind her. Once free, her bare breasts were his. To tease, to caress. Anything to bring the light gasp from her lips. It was music to his ears.

She immediately undid the button and zipper on his jeans. Moving to a slight sit, she shed his remaining clothes. They fell off the bed with a soft thump. His grin resurfaced as he looked at her in amusement. She arched her eyebrow in response. Knowing that she wanted more, he flipped open her own jeans and removed them in seconds.

The only thing she had on was a pair of blue, satin panties. He took a moment to gaze at her. Her flushed skin and tousled hair brought out something primal in him. He wanted her, more than just now. He wanted to see her like this for the rest of his life.

Her hands moved to her underwear, but he stopped them with his own. "No, let me."

With admirable constraint, he slowly pulled the remaining garment down her legs while kissing her senseless. She kicked them off her feet with a sound of contentment. His fingers lightly brushed their way back up her leg. When he reached the juncture of her thighs, she broke off the kiss and smiled. Her eyes met his with a look that spoke to his heart. But, it was when she reached over to encircle his hardened length, that he lost the last of his reservations.

They came together in a fiery kiss, each needing the same thing. Their hands seemed to move in time with each other. But even that was not enough. He needed to be inside of her, and the way she hooked her foot behind his hips to draw him closer told him that she needed that, too.

Shifting to the cradle of her thighs, he thrust into her. The surrounding warmth was a homecoming. He couldn't help but begin a steady pace that brought slight moans from both of them. Buffy's face tensed up with pleasure, and her breathing increased. With a strength that surprised him, she flipped them over. Now, she was in control. Her lithe body rose and fell, drawing out their enjoyment. And so began the dance. Taking and giving became the same as both their wants were fulfilled.

Afterwards, they sprawled on the bed, catching their breaths. Spike glanced at Buffy in wonder. It hadn't been like that before. All those other times they had sex, something had been missing. Something that made a tremendous difference. What had been missing was simply openness.

The second time they made love that night, they took their time. It wasn't a race or a pressing urgency that needed to be completed. For the two of them, they had all the time in the world.

As he entered her, and she wrapped her legs around him, he told himself that he would never leave her.

"Stay with me forever," he gasped.

She stared at him, speechless. In response, he determinedly moved, bringing a gasp from her.

"I.." Buffy swallowed as pleasure crossed her beautiful features. "I think I will."

Her answer brought a smile to his face. Together, they climbed towards that glorious peak. With a moan, she shook and squeezed around him, almost taking him with her. It took much effort, but he continued moving, bringing her to another climax. This time, he joined her as she screamed her release.

He rolled them to the side, wrapping his arms around her. She molded to his body perfectly. As they fell asleep he realized it was the first time she let him just hold her.

Hours later, he awoke with Buffy sprawled across his chest. Sunlight that seeped through the blinds caught golden highlights in her hair. Stroking her back, he marveled on how she came to his life.

Her eyes blinked open, and her mouth curled into a shy smile. "What are you looking at?"

He cocked his head. "You, in the sunlight. I don't think I've seen you in it before." He chuckled. "Well, not naked, anyway."

"You mean like this?" She jumped off the bed, walking around the room unashamedly. She stopped and looked back at him, giving him a full view of her firm, round bottom.

He was immediately hit with arousal. "Come back to bed," he growled.

Her face brightened as she jumped onto the bed. Rolling her over so he had the advantage of being on top, he bent down to kiss her.

The phone rang. Spike pulled back from her with a scowl.

"Go ahead and answer it." Buffy stroked his arm.

Remaining on top of her, Spike reached over to the nightstand and picked up the phone. "What?"

Clem's cheerful voice greeted him. "Hey, are you watching the news?"

"No." Spike glanced down at Buffy. "What happened?"

"Maggie Walsh was arrested for accounting fraud. Someone blew the whistle on her."

"Really?" Spike nuzzled Buffy on the cheek. She, in turn, distracted him by peppering his neck with soft kisses.

"You know, if she's out of the picture, you might get your column back."

"Hmm." He looked at Buffy's moist lips and didn't want to talk to Clem at the moment. He raised the phone to his mouth. "Tell you what. I'll watch the t.v. and get back with you later."

After hanging up, he thoroughly kissed her.

Buffy smirked. "So, she's in jail?"

"You heard that?" At Buffy's nod, he pulled her close.

She lightly touched him on the nose. "Don't you want to hear more details?"

Biting his lip, he shook his head. "I want to concentrate on something else right now."

"Me, too."

It was a long time before the television was turned on.

THE END

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, what did you guys think? I know the whole Initiative thing was kind of contrived, but I was trying to find a parallel to the show. 


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